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By Robert C. Keating
NEWS LIMERICKS, POLITICAL LIMERICKS

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Hunter and Joe Biden
The president's son was convicted of three felonies

Trump's claims of persecution
Are a little overdone.
Hunter Biden shows the feds
Will f*ck with anyone.

June, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top


Donald Trump

If Donald Trump should lose again,
His ego is so big,
He won't accept reality;
He'll say the race was "rigged."
And millions will believe him
Like they always f*cking do,
Even if there's not a shred
Of evidence it's true.

June, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump "Guilty"--NY Daily News front page May 31, 2024

Honestly, I didn't think
This day would ever come.
F*ckin' took forever, but
They finally got the bum.

May, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Frustrated woman looking at phone

They're constantly bombarding me
To get me on their app,
So they can sell my data.
I'm so tired of this crap.

May, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

When Trump says Bobby Jr.
Isn't really anti-vax,
It's obvious his derrière
Is where he gets his facts.

May, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Doug Mills, Byron Donalds and Vivek Ramaswamy
GOP Reps. Doug Mills & Byron Donalds (FL) & former presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy
supporting Donald Trump outside NY courthouse

I can't imagine any more
Degrading thing to do
Than shilling for a charlatan
And dressing like him too.

May, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Nadine and Robert Menendez
Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ) is accused of taking
bribes in exchange for helping Egypt and Qatar

Here's a man who prob'ly isn't
Long for married life:
He says he never took a bribe;
It must've been his wife.

May, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Man with hamburger

Way too high in sodium
And way too high in fat.
It is a tasty sandwich, though;
I have to give it that.

May, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.
Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

Is it just coincidence
A worm attacked his brain,
And ever since he's saying stuff
That's more and more insane?

May, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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David Beckham

No offense, but if I had
The looks of David Beckham,
I don't think I'd be doing
Everything I could to wreck 'em.

May, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin

You gotta love this picture
For the clarity it brings:
Which one is the puppet here,
And which one pulls the strings?

May, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Salesman extending hand

Keep in mind, whenever there's
A home you wanna buy:
"Everything was done to code"
Is probably a lie.

May, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man lying awake in bed

All these guys who wanna ban
Abortion at six weeks
Had better hope to holy hell
The condom never leaks.

May, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Kristi Noem
Trump VP hopeful Gov. Kristi Noem (R-SD)

It's bad enough the governor
Would shoot her little dog,
But then to go and brag about it's
Really f*ckin' odd.

April, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Christina Bobb
Christina Bobb

Oh, the Irony

The lawyer they've got at the RNC
In charge of "election integrity"
Has just been indicted;
She's one of those cited
In Trump's fake elector conspiracy.

April, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman ringing doorbell

No Soliciting

I don't wanna sign your petition,
Or buy what you're trying to sell.
I'm not gonna join your religion,
So kindly stop ringing my bell!

April, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Gaza man in destroyed neighborhood

This whole "two-state solution"
Is becoming null and void.
It's hard to have two states when
One's already been destroyed.

April, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

99 Cent Only Store closing

As if things weren't bad enough
With all of this inflation,
The 99¢ Only Stores
Are ceasing operation.

April, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mike Johnson

Luckily for Johnson,
Even though he's getting weaker,
No one in his party
Even wants his job as Speaker.

April, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joe Biden

Hey, Joe

You can't deny, for many folks
It's Issue Number One.
Close the border; keep your job.
Otherwise, you're done.

April, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris

You've got abortion on your side;
Now how about the border?
Suspending new asylum claims
Would seem to be in order.

April, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

World Central Kitchen aid worker slain by IDF

F*ck Joe Biden's "outrage"
Over Israel's campaign.
As long as he keeps arming them,
Results will be the same.

April, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump holding "God Bless the USA Bible"

The only Bible in the world
That's Donald Trump-endorsed
Is the only one that pays him
Any royalty, of course.

April, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump
Three weeks before the start of his NYC hush money trial, Trump attended the wake of a slain officer there

The same day Trump is telling us
He'll bring back law and order,
He's siccing his supporters on
His trial judge's daughter.

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Joe Biden

If I was getting blamed for all
This runaway inflation,
I'd make a show of taking on
The greedy corporations.

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Man wearing Rockport shoes

When it comes to email overload,
Rockport can't be beat.
They're decent shoes, but they must think
I've got a hundred feet.

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump

Can't Post $454M Bond

The vultures are circling Donald J. Trump,
But haven't we seen this before?
Whenever we're thinking he's run out of luck,
There's always a little bit more.

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jesse Watters

Don't you get tired of all of the lies
They're constantly airing on Fox?
You keep lapping up
All that feculent stuff,
And finally your little brain rots.

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump White House

Just what you'd expect to hear
From Mr. Insurrection:
He's promising a "bloodbath"
If he loses the election.

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Vladimir Putin

He's threatening to nuke us,
So would someone tell me why
Republicans in Congress
Won't stand up against the guy?

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump mocking disabled reporter

The defects in his character
Are there for all to see.
We know what Donald Trump is;
Now the question's what are we?

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Cops

Cops are on the front lines
Every day, so tell me why,
In terms of backing gun control,
They're all so f*cking shy.

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Couple with backs to each other

You shouldn't have to say that
What Hamas did was despicable,
But better safe than sorry
When you're criticizing Israel.

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump

Nice Job, Republicans

If voters had been smarter,
This could all have been prevented.
Instead, they've picked a candidate
Who's totally demented.

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Sad teddy bear looking out window

Oh, but how I miss the days
I used to make the scene.
Sad to say, the good times now
Are few and far between.

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump

Now he says "our country is a joke."
I disagree.
(But let's not prove his point
And reelect the S.O.B.)

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Gaza food drop

Dropping food into Gaza's
The least we can do,
Having made all the bombs
Being dropped on 'em too.

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Joseph Ladapo and Ron DeSantis
Florida Surgeon General Ladapo and Gov. DeSantis

Florida vs. the Measles

Besides a decent governor,
Which currently they lack,
They need a surgeon general
Who's not a f*cking quack.

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Fani Willis and Nathan Wade

I don't care if Fani Willis
Slept with Nathan Wade.
With all the stress they're going through,
At least they're getting laid.

March, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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"Cain" by Henri Vidal, Tuileries Garden, Paris, 1896

What good is the perfect case
Prepared by DOJ
When all the courts are helping Trump
Delay, delay, delay?

February, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Trump as a flaming match addressing a crowd of bombs, in a cartoon by Duff
From cartoon by Duff Moses

After his shenanigans
On January Sixth,
To think we'd want him back again
Is absolutely sick.

February, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Alexander Smirnov (center)
Alexander Smirnov (center)

In case you bought the story
That Joe Biden took a bribe,
The FBI informant
Was a Russian tool who lied.

February, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Bernie Sanders

I get the need to fund Ukraine;
No argument with that.
But Israel's another case;
I wouldn't give 'em crap.

February, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Israeli soldier in dinosaur costume launches bombs into Gaza

Curbing antisemitism
Won't get any easier
With Netanyahu's army acting
Sleazier and sleazier.

February, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Mick Jagger with the Rolling Stones onstage

Don't be down on Biden
Cuz you're trippin' on his age.
Jagger's eighty too,
And they still let him on the stage.

February, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Constipated man clutching stomach

Hypertension got you down?
Don't take Irbesartan.
The constipation's so profound,
You'll barely manage fartin'.

NOT INTENDED AS MEDICAL ADVICE / CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN

February, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump in hooded cowl

Has everyone forgotten
The unnecessary deaths?
Reelecting Trump would be
As reckless as it gets.

February, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Nikki Haley making fists

Nikki is to Donald Trump
As Teddy was to Carter:
The intraparty challenger
Who makes November harder.

February, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Skeleton waiting

If no one is above the law,
As no one is, presumably,
Then why's it take so f*cking long
To rule on Trump's immunity?

February, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Pro-Palestine protesters in Manila displaying an effigy of Joe Biden with devil horns

When genocide is playing out
Before your very eyes,
Anyone enabling it
Is easy to despise.

February, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump

The media are failing
In their coverage of Trump
If they don't spell out how insane
He's gotten on the stump.

January, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump

Just a Thought, Republicans

If Donald Trump's too addled
To keep Haley and Pelosi straight,
Maybe this is not the guy
You want to be your candidate.

January, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Two old biddies
In Pensacola FL, there's always another book to ban

You really have to wonder
What's the matter with these fools,
Pulling all the dictionaries
Out of public schools.

January, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Border crowd

Republicans don't even want
A border deal, you know?
They'd rather leave the current mess
And blame it all on Joe.

January, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Joe Biden and Donald Trump
Age difference: 3½ years

Biden may be eighty-one,
But Trump is right behind.
Anyway, the younger one's
The one who's lost his mind.

January, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Gaza man in destroyed neighborhood

Why we still back Israel
In Gaza, I don't know.
The only way to stop this sh*t's
By cutting off their dough.

January, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Store closing!

It's little wonder why so many
Brick and mortar stores are gone,
What with all the people buying
Everything on Amazon.

January, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Iowa man in "Trump Country" cap

Cable's always looking for
A storyline to chase.
They're covering the caucuses
As if there's still a race.

January, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump

By the way, there's nothing in
The U.S. Constitution
Suggesting that a president's
Immune from prosecution.

January, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu and Joe Biden hugging

Rarely have I ever seen
A photograph so creepy.
This is f*cking genocide,
And we're still backing Bibi?

January, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Trump supporters storming the U.S. Capitol
Source: Washington Post / U. of Maryland poll

One in four Americans
Believe the FBI
Was behind the insurrection,
Which is just a f*cking lie.

January, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Xi Jinping

The reason Trump loves Xi Jinping's
Not hard to understand:
He lives for any chance he gets
To shake a smaller hand.

January, 2024
© Robert C. Keating

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Nikki Haley

What the hell's with Haley?
Does it take a lot of bravery
To just come out and say
The Civil War was over slavery?

December, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump at New Hampshire rally

Hey, Bigmouth

Spouting Adolf Hitler is
A vile thing to do.
If anybody's 'poisoning
Our country's blood,' it's you.

December, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump 14th Amendment Section 3

Colorado gets it right:
He led an insurrection,
So therefore is disqualified
From running for election.

December, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Steve Scalise, Mike Johnson, Elise Stefanik and other House Republicans

They won't do sh*t on climate change.
They won't do sh*t on guns.
They won't do sh*t on anything
Of consequence, the bums.
They'd rather spread conspiracies
And waste their precious time
Investigating Biden
For imaginary crimes.

December, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Young Guns book, by Paul Ryan, Eric Cantor and Kevin McCarthy

They ran the House Republicans,
But not for very long.
One by one the young guns fell,
And now the last is gone.

December, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Gazan mother cradling dead child

IDF

"Not targeting civilians?"
What a bunch of rot.
If that's not who they're targeting,
They're sure a lousy shot.

December, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Joe Biden "I did that!" sticker on a gas pump

Biden's not responsible
For all of this inflation.
The problem is we're being gouged
By greedy corporations.

December, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Wounded Gazan child

Israel told Gazans
They'd be safer in the South.
Ask the noncombatants there
How that's been working out.

December, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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George Santos balloon flying in front of Congress
The House voted 311-114 to expel George Santos
(R-NY), only the sixth member ever given the boot

Sayonara, Santos

He's threatening the congressmen
Who helped to bring him down.
Maybe he should save his breath
For court, the f*cking clown.

December, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump and Joe BidenDonald Trump and Joe Biden

God forbid we're dumb enough
To re-elect the autocrat.
I don't care how old he is:
I'm voting for the democrat.

November, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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"Moms for Liberty"

They go by "Moms for Liberty,"
But that's a bit misleading.
Their idea of liberty's
To censor what you're reading.

November, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Laura Loomer
The provocateuse & would-be WH press secretary

'Laura Loomer's not someone
That Donald Trump should hire.
She's mentally unstable
And a documented liar.'

--Marjorie Taylor Greene

November, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Trump rally in NH

He's up there praising Xi Jinping
And Kim and Putin too,
And not a single "patriot"
Is brave enough to boo.

November, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Volodymyr Zelensky and Vivek RamaswamyVolodymyr Zelensky and Vivek Ramaswamy

Zelensky's not a Nazi;
He's actually a Jew.
But how like Ramaswamy
To go mixing up the two.

November, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump making fists and yelling

Have you listened to him lately?
It might be worth your time,
Cuz more and more it's obvious
He's lost his f*cking mind.

November, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Israeli draped in flag

Israel today's
As democratic as it gets
(If you don't count the millions
Who are trapped behind a fence).

November, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Mike Johnson
New Speaker of the House Mike Johnson (R-LA)

At Your Service, Plutocrats

"Fiscally responsible"
Would not describe this Speaker.
Instead of funding IRS,
He's tryin' to make it weaker.

November, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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The Beatles "Now and Then"

Compared to other Beatles songs,
It isn't very good.
Just cuz you can finish something
Doesn't mean you should.

November, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump

You can't keep up with all the lies
This lunatic creates.
Now he's telling everyone
He won all fifty states.

November, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Joe Biden

I've nothing bad to say about
Joe Biden in the main,
But running for another term
At eighty is insane.

November, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Israeli woman holding protest sign, "Bibi, there is blood on your hands"

Bibi Netanyahu says
Hamas must be wiped out.
For years he gave 'em cover, though,
So what's that all about?

November, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Gazan children crying

There's one thing the Israelis
Will accomplish with this war:
Hamas will be recruiting
Like it's never done before.

October, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump and rapturous supporters

Why the hell would Christians
Wanna flock to such a bum?
Check the seven deadly sins,
And Trump has every one.

October, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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IDF spokesman Jonathan Conricus
IDF Spokesperson Lt. Col. Jonathan Conricus

Don't go blaming Israel
For blowing up that hospital.
Our bombs leave bigger craters,
So we know we're not responsible.

October, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Gazan man carrying dead child
Israel dropped 6,000+ bombs on Gaza in six days
in retaliation for a brutal surprise attack by Hamas

Israel

The terrorists who hit 'em
Are the ones they need to whack,
Not the poor civilians
Who weren't in on the attack.

October, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Benjamin Netanyahu

Look how catastrophically
A government can fail
When its leader is preoccupied
With staying out of jail.

October, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Kevin McCarthy

I would've thought some Democrats
Would vote to keep him in.
He's awful, but whoever's next
Could well be worse than him.

October, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump's face on money

We've never had more fiscally
Responsible a president
(If you don't count the trillions that
He added to the deficit).

October, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Eiffel Tower viewed by scared woman (Photo from Amy's Crypt)

I love Paris in the fall,
But not so much this year.
With all the bedbugs they've got there,
I think I'll stay right here.

October, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump dancing on stage

He may be entertaining,
But his act is wearing thin.
I definitely wouldn't
Want to sit through it again.

September, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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John Fetterman
Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) arriving for work

One thing I don't think
The U.S. Senate oughta do
Is set aside the dress code
On account of you-know-who.

September, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Red "Sorry, We're Closed" sign
300,000+ migrants crossed the border in August,
the highest monthly total ever (Source: USCBP)

We have to stop the chaos
At the border, and here's how:
Suspend all new asylum claims,
And do it f*cking now.

September, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Man walking his dog while staring at his phone

Beware the man who walks his dog
While staring at his phone.
He's miss what Fido leaves behind
(And it won't be a bone).

September, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Woman biting her fingernails
"Go, Joe, go!"

Besides the fact he's eighty
And his son just got indicted,
I'm glad he's gonna run again.
Could not be more excited.

September, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Lauren Boebert
Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) & her date were eject-
ed from a Denver theater after numerous complaints

Seems as if the congresswoman's
One and only function's
To embarrass all the voters
From Pueblo to Grand Junction.

September, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Trump as Pinocchio, from cartoon by Clay Bennett in the Chattanooga Times Free Press
From cartoon by Clay Bennett,
Chattanooga Times Free Press

Despite His Claims

The Presidential Records Act
Did not give Trump the right, in fact,
To take a bunch
Of secret stuff
And then refuse to give it back.

September, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Chris Hayes

It drives me f*cking crazy
How he's always saying "like."
Get this man a voice coach, please,
And get him talking right.

September, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Kevin McCarthy

McCarthy may be Speaker now,
But how long can it last?
His party's full of wingnuts
Who could take him down, and fast.

September, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Smoke-filled cabin

With lithium batteries everywhere,
It's riskier now to go anywhere.
You never know when
One'll blow up again
And there's no f*cking way to get outta there.

September, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Dishonest-looking plumber

From the Arabs with their oil
To the plumber on the make,
Everybody's out to take
As much as they can take.

September, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Tommy Tuberville
Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-AL) is still refusing to
lift his hold on hundreds of military promotions

The Marines don't have a commandant,
But Tommy doesn't care.
There should be a statue for
The asshole in Red Square.

September, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Clarence Thomas and Harlan Crow
Justice Thomas and the ever-attentive Harlan Crow

It's hard to make believe the Court
Is ethical and honest,
Knowing there's a billionaire
In bed with Clarence Thomas.

September, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Ron DeSantis
A Wall Street Journal poll showed Trump beating DeSantis by 46 points among Republican voters

DeSantis may recover
But the chances aren't high.
The more that people see of him,
The more they hate the guy.

September, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Smash and grab robbers

The streets are filled with criminals
Who oughta be in jail,
And now the city wants to go
Eliminating bail?

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump tipping the scale (photo illustration by Slate)

This is why you never let
The perp provide the stat.
If Trump is only 215,
I'll eat a MAGA hat.

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump mug shot

It's been a long time coming,
So the sound of it's sublime:
Inmate Number PO1135809.

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Vivek Ramaswamy

Mr. Ramaswamy says
That climate change is bunk.
Heard enough already from
This lying little punk?

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Vivek Ramaswamy

You can write off Vivek
Ramaswamy from the jump:
He wants to raise the voting age
And pardon Donald Trump.

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Tim Scott
GOP presidential hopeful Sen. Tim Scott (R-SC)

You question a guy's masculinity
When he's bragging about his virginity.
But that's how he got
To be Senator Scott:
No question it paid off politically.

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump trying to catch a ball

A game of catch with Donald Trump
Would not last very long:
You'd throw the ball right to him,
And he'd say you threw it wrong.

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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AI

If AI can do anything
The way these people say,
Let's see it pay the mortgage
When it takes my job away.

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Trump pointing his finger like a gun

It's true that Trump could shoot someone
And Trumpers wouldn't care.
But that does not say much for them,
And I'll just leave it there.

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Fani Willis
Fulton Co. District Attorney Fani Willis indicted
ex-Pres. Trump and 18 others on 41 felony counts
for trying to overturn the 2020 election in Georgia

She teased a Trump indictment
Over twenty months ago.
Waiting for Ms. Willis
Is like waiting for Godot.

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Child pointing JR15 gun

Of all the things on earth that
Should have never been invented,
An AR gun for children
Takes the cake for most demented.

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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"Stop the Steal" protest

The facts are indisputable,
But Trumpers still deny
That the one who tried to steal
The election was their guy.

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Ron DeSantis

"We're going to start slitting throats
On Day One," says DeSantis
(Which kind of gives you some idea
Of what a creep the man is).

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Crowd displaying Trump flags and "Trump won!" sign

Don't destroy democracy
For one disgruntled schmo.
Your country needs you back again.
It's time to let him go.

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Donald Trump
Donald Trump was charged with four felonies
regarding his attempt to steal the 2020 election

Prison's not so bad, old boy.
I'm sure you'll find romance
As soon as you start showing 'em
That sexy little dance.

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Joe Biden

Even though, objectively,
He's done a lot of good,
Biden isn't getting half
The credit that he should.

August, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

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Hunter Biden as covered on Fox News

They won't give Biden credit
For a single thing he's done.
All they wanna talk about's
His cockamamie son.

July, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Republican elephant clutching assault weapon, from cartoon by Pat Bagley in the Salt Lake Tribune
From Pat Bagley cartoon in the Salt Lake Tribune

GOP

There's nothing more absurd than how
They say they're tough on crime.
Aren't they the party blocking
Gun laws all the time?

July, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Elon Musk dressed as Julius Caesar

When Elon Musk bought Twitter,
He predicted great success.
But what's he turned it into now?
A literal Brand X.

July, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man overheated

#NoMoreTrump

In case we need reminding as
The temperatures get higher,
It's a lousy time to reelect
A climate change denier.

July, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump supporters storming the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021

The president who tried to give us
Government by mob
Is hoping we'll be dumb enough
To give him back his job.

July, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Fox News Channel logo

They lied about Seth Rich.
They lied about Ray Epps.
They lied about Dominion
And Smartmatic and the rest.
But here's the thing: if Fox is all
You're watching all the time,
You could spend a lifetime never
Knowing they've been lyin'.

July, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Snob

I'm sorry, but I'm never
Calling someone "they" or "them."
It's just too ungrammatical;
That's just the way I am.

July, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Tommy Tuberville
Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-AL)

Putin should be giving
Tommy Tuberville a prize,
For gumming up our military
Right before our eyes.

July, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jim Jordan

We thought that Joe McCarthy
Was as bad as it could get,
But that's because Jim Jordan
Hadn't gone to Congress yet.

July, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Texas construction worker in the heat

As Temperatures Soar

Here's a law that ranks among
The sickest ever written:
Mandatory water breaks
In Texas are forbidden.

July, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Home collapsing in Southern California landslide

It's awful homes are falling down
In Rolling Hills Estates.
They didn't know how right they were,
Whoever named the place.

July, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

Forget that he stole secrets
And was sharing them to boot;
Millions of Americans
Would reelect the coot.

July, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

George Santos

How the hell can Santos
Blame his problems on the press?
Earth to Mr. Santos:
You're the one who made the mess.

July, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Yevgeney Prigozhin
Yevgeny Prigozhin was offered exile in Belarus
in return for ending his army's march on Moscow

It's hard to make predictions on
What Putin's gonna do,
But I would bet Prigozhin's dead
Before the year is through.

June, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mar-a-Lago toilet surrounded by stacked boxes of documents

That Mar-a-Lago toilet
Is so low down to the floor,
I hope the Secret Service
Keeps a forklift by the door.

June, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Prince Harry, "Spare"

'Daddy never hugged me, even
When my mummy passed.'
Life is tough all over, Harry.
Blow it out your ass.

June, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man in fetal position

'Tween all of these mass shootings
And the germs that are about,
No wonder there's a lot of us
Who aren't going out.

June, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Dylan Mulvaney
Transgender actress Dylan Mulvaney

I feel bad for Dylan.
She thinks she's such a hit,
And then she does a beer ad
And their sales go to sh*t.

June, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump documents
Government secrets stacked in a Mar-a-Lago bath-
room: evidence from 37-count Trump indictment

The right should worry less about
How "D.O.J.'s been weaponized"
And more about how national
Security's been compromised.

June, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Aileen Cannon

The thrill I felt at Donald Trump's
Indictment was erased
As soon as I saw Cannon
Would be sitting on the case.

June, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Glasses clinking

Honestly, I didn't think
This day would ever come.
Trump is finally being charged.
I hope they get the bum.

June, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump boarding private plane

The documents they found are not
The only ones he's got.
He took a bunch of boxes to
Bedminster, did he not?

June, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ron DeSantis

It's crazy that DeSantis,
In the midst of a campaign,
Can't decide the right
Pronunciation of his name.

June, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kevin McCarthy

Looking at this travesty,
One thing could not be clearer:
Kevin's top priority
Should be a full-length mirror.

May, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Elon Musk

Now that Musk is running it,
It's really sad to see:
Twitter is a sh*thole next to
What it used to be.

May, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ron DeSantis

As much as I hate Donald Trump,
I really love the way
He's making life for Ron DeSantis
Harder every day.

May, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Cat showing fangs

What good is a f*cking pet
You pet at your own peril?
Next time I adopt a cat,
I'll specify "no ferals."

May, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mauricio Garcia
Mauricio Garcia killed eight and wounded 10 at a
suburban Dallas mall before being killed by police

Allen TX Shooter

Not only did he hate the world
(That's obvious as hell);
A brown-skinned white supremacist
Would hate himself as well.

May, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Cursive alphabet

Lost Art

Children can't write cursively,
And that's a real shame.
I wonder if you wrote it
If they'd even know their name.

May, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump
Wowing them at CNN's BS Fest, AKA Town Hall

The Enablers

More sick'ning than the man himself
With all his smears and lies
Are the suckers in the audience.
That's who I most despise.

May, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

AR-15

There's just so much to hate about
This godforsaken gun:
Exit wounds the size of f*ckin'
Oranges, for one.

May, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kevin McCarthy, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Mitch McConnell, Paul Gosar, Matt Gaetz & Ted Cruz

What a bunch of f*cking dicks.
It's always about politics.
They never care about the debt
Until a Dem is president.

May, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Soldier in Afghanistan

We had to leave Afghanistan;
That war could not be won.
Was messy how we did it,
But at least it's f*cking done.

May, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Angry man watching TV

Tucker Carlson's out at Fox,
But viewers, don't despair:
If toxic talk is what you want,
Sean Hannity's still there.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man at gun shop counter surrounded by assault weapons

The Senate should have never let
The weapons ban expire.
You can't depend on background checks
When someone has no priors.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

Bobby Jr.'s in the race,
But he won't be the choice.
It's not just that he's anti-vax;
It's also just the voice.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Fox News Channel

Big Lie Costs Fox $787.5 Million

Seems to me the network
Should be putting "News" in quotes,
Given the extent of
All the bullsh*t it promotes.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman with thumb down

Another Third Party

"No Labels" has no business
On the ballot in my view.
Helping the Republicans
Is all they're gonna do.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Dalai Lama and boy

The Dalai Lama asking
A young boy to suck his tongue
Kinda makes you wonder
Where the f*cker's coming from.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Grand old party

Income inequality's
The trend that doesn't stop.
It's always a recession now,
Unless you're at the top.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

An Inconvenient Truth

Al Gore was the target of
A lotta right-wing crap.
But everything he warned about
Is happening, in fact.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ron DeSantis and Mickey Mouse

Fifty years in Florida
And now they're on the outs?
Disney's not the party here
That's acting Mickey Mouse.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Tucker Carlson

If you think you're getting news from Fox,
Then take another gander:
Most of what they're telling you
Is straight out propaganda.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump as mob boss

Donald Trump's assorted crimes
Are way beyond the pale
(Not that I'm suggesting here
He'll ever go to jail).

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man peeking through blinds
COVID killed 1,779 Americans last week (CDC)

Lingering Pandemic Paranoia

There's a movie out in theatres now
I really wanna see.
I'll have to wait and stream it, though,
Cuz I have LPP.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Anderson Cooper

Why are all these talking heads
Still calling Trump "the president?"
It's not an honor he deserves,
As should be f*cking evident.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Dummies

Imagine being so naive
You never figure out
That Trump is lying every time
He opens up his mouth.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Merrick Garland

I know it's up to Biden
And it isn't up to me,
But I don't think that Garland's
Got the balls to be AG.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and $100 bills
The Trump campaign raised $4 million in the first
24 hours after his NY indictment on fraud charges

No defendant's sure of what
The future's gonna bring,
But ever since they charged him,
All he's hearing is ka-ching.

April, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Michael Steele "Trump Indictment Watch" on MSNBC

Donald Trump Indictment Watch
Is not must-see TV.
Wake me when they lock him up;
That's all I wanna see.

March, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Child drone victim

It's easy to condemn what
Russia's doing to Ukraine,
But isn't what we did to
The Iraqis much the same?

March, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man in "Trump Won" shirt

A sorer bunch 'a losers
You will not find anywhere.
They can't accept the fact that
They were beaten fair and square.

March, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Tucker Carlson

In the mood for Russian
Propaganda? You're in luck!
All you have to do is
Get your news from Traitor Tuck.

March, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman yawning

Congress has killed better things,
So wouldn't it be fine
If they finally got around
To killing Daylight Savings Time?

March, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Merrick Garland shadowed by Donald Trump

All the legal experts say
That Trump should be indicted.
But since they're not the ones in charge,
Let's not get too excited.

March, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Laura Ingraham

Fox does not require
Every story to be true.
As long as what you're saying's
Good for ratings, that'll do.

March, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sean Hannity

There's nothing educational
About this kind of show.
They tell you what you wanna hear,
Not what you need to know.

March, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Erin Burnett

I know I'd find it easier
To watch her every night
If she didn't always interrupt
Her sentences with Right?.

March, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Pete Buttigieg

Far be it for me to judge,
But what the f*ck's with Buttigieg?
As soon as they blew up that train,
He shoulda been there taking names.

February, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Merrick Garland

Garland's just the latest in
A long parade of chumps:
Prosecutors through the years
Who never nailed Trump.

February, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

aMike Pence

It's sad: of all the candidates
Republicans could choose,
The only hero in the race
Is almost sure to lose.

February, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Nikki Haley and Donald Trump

Haley Joins 2024 Race

They worked together beautifully
When she was his ambassador,
But far as Donald Trump's concerned,
That should've been the last of her.

February, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) heckling
Pres. Biden during State of the Union address

How could someone let herself
Behave like such an ass?
She oughta be embarrassed,
But she doesn't have the class.

February, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man looking through binoculars and holding racing form

Good luck, Nikki Haley,
But if I may be succinct,
I'm looking at your chances
And your chances really stink.

February, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Brig. Gen. Pat Ryder

Don't just "track" the spy balloon
That's moseying around.
It's got no business being here.
For God's sake, shoot it down!

February, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Photo by Wesley Mann, Daily Mail

Moving down to Florida?
Think twice before you go.
Assholes like DeSantis don't
Elect themselves, you know.

February, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Five Memphis cops charged with Tyre Nichols' murder
Five Memphis policemen were fired & charged
with the second degree murder of Tyre Nichols

Our Street Crime Unit officers
Are young and in their prime.
The only problem is that they're
Committing all the crime.

January, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Tyre Nichols, R.I.P.
Tyre Nichols, 29, fatally beaten by Memphis police

Even when the cops involved
Are all as black as night,
Standards seem to suffer when
A "suspect" isn't white.

January, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Tack Sappington
Lucky survivor on Mt. Baldy, 10,000 ft. above L.A.

Hiking on the mountain now?
That's really kinda dicey.
Every step could be your last
When everything's this icy.

January, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

99 Cent Only Store

You still pay lower prices
At the 99¢ Only Store,
But there aren't many items
That are 99¢ anymore.

January, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

George Santos as Kitara Ravache
George Santos AKA Kitara Ravache, Rio, 2008

So what if he's a double-dealin',
Ponzi schemin' louse?
At least we finally get to have
A drag queen in the House.

January, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

George Santos

What I would like to know
(Along with where he got the loot)
Is why he always has to wear
A sweater with a suit.

January, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Prince Harry, "Spare"

Caveat Scriptor

Once you write a tell-all book,
Assume all hope is gone
For any kind of future with
The ones you're telling on.

January, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

George Santos

A fraud like Mr. Santos
Would have never got this far
If opposition research
Had been halfway up to par.

January, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Robert Hur
Robert Hur will lead DOJ's Biden documents probe

Mueller was the first one,
And now we're up to four.
At some point, special counsels
Aren't that special anymore.

January, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kevin McCarthy and Mitch McConnell

They give their wealthy donors
Every tax break they can get,
So don't believe 'em when they say
They care about the debt.

January, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Steve Bannon

It's not enough to mess with
Our democracy at home.
Bannon won't be happy till
They all get overthrown.

January, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kevin McCarthyKevin McCarthy (R-CA) became the new House
Speaker after 15 ballots and bitter GOP infighting

I don't know how the prospects
For this Congress could be bleaker,
When the party that's in charge
Can't even pick a friggin' Speaker.

January, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Pope Benedict
When the going gets tough, get out

A lot of folks'll keep a job
Until they're past their prime.
Not the late Pope Benedict;
He knew when to resign.

January, 2023
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Girl holding sign pleading for entry at the border

Our borders aren't "open"
But when liars say they are,
Migrants hear the message and
They come from near and far.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Two men playing shuffleboard

These Florida seniors supporting Rick Scott
Are not as informed as they oughta be,
Or else they would know not to vote for a schmo
Who wants to end Social Security.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

George Santos

George Santos has the kind of skills
Republicans require:
Not only can he raise the dough,
But boy, is he a liar.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Brianna Ruffalo

The weather in Los Angeles
Is better than in Buffalo,
'Specially when it's brought to us
By one Brianna Ruffalo.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Skeleton waiting
The House J6 Committee made a compelling case to charge the ex-president with four federal crimes in-
cluding insurrection, but will the DOJ do anything?

Referring Trump for charges
After all this time is great,
Except, of course, it doesn't
Carry any legal weight.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

My friend Cayla doll
"Hi, I'm Cayla. I'm going to spy on you"

These smart toys are a menace
With the data they're accruing.
Ripping out the mic is what
Your children should be doing.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Clayton Kershaw
Clayton Kershaw

Twenty million dollars
For a year? That's pretty rich.
Now all we have to hope is
He's not injured and can pitch.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man shrugging

They and them are pronouns
That refer to two or more.
Why's that controversial now?
It never was before.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sam Brinton
Sam Brinton was terminated as Deputy Assistant Secretary of Spent Fuel and Waste Management
after being arrested for stealing women's luggage

I don't know how this guy
Got a job at D.O.E.,
Unless whoever vetted him
Was high on LSD.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ron DeSantis and Kent Stermon

Kent Stermon's to DeSantis as
Vince Foster was to Hill and Bill:
Officially, it's suicide,
But speculate, you know we will.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Air passenger and germ by Leif Parsons
Illustration by Leif Parsons, The New York Times

Why aren't they requiring masks
When you get on a plane?
With all the crap that's going 'round,
It's patently insane.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kevin DeLeon
L.A. City Councilman Kevin DeLeon remains in
office after being recorded disparaging colleagues

DeLeon isn't stepping down,
And I don't think he should.
He's said he's sorry's many times
As anybody could.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kyrsten Sinema
With a 37% approval rating among Arizona Demo-
crats, Sen. Kyrsten Sinema became an independent

Staying in the party,
She'd have paid too high a cost.
Whoever would've challenged her,
She knows she would've lost.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Drag queen Bev

Just because a drag queen may
Be coming to your town
Doesn't mean you have to take
The power system down.
(You're not gonna like it if
They catch your ass, you know.
Maybe you should just relax
And go enjoy the show.)

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Kari Lake
Losers in denial: Donald Trump and Kari Lake

Their thumbs can hardly get it up;
Their smiles are looking strained.
Telling lies around the clock
Must really leave you drained.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Arkansas gov.-elect meets the press

What the f*ck's with Sarah Sanders?
Someone needs some better handlers.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Richard Nixon

He never faked a bone spur,
Or tried to mount a coup.
Nixon was a choir boy
Compared to you-know-who.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump as screaming baby

The sorest loser in the world's
Come up with a solution
So he can still be president:
Rip up the Constitution.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Liz Wheeler

There's something these reporters do
That irks me to the core:
Stop calling Trump "the president."
He isn't anymore!

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Herschel Walker

I can't see Walker winning
In the Georgia Senate race:
For one, he lives in Dallas,
And for two, he's a disgrace.

December, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

James FryLocal police inspired little confidence with their
initial comments after four University of Idaho
students were found murdered in their beds

Until you've caught the psychopath
Who killed our friends so brutally,
Please don't come and tell us there's
'No threat to the community.'

November, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

Of course he hosted Kanye West
And Nick Fuentes too.
What else would you expect a troll
Like Donald Trump to do?

November, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman with thumb down

Republicans are very good
At pushing all our buttons,
But what have they accomplished
For us? Absolutely nothin'.

November, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hands clutching prison bars

The Colorado shooter
Would prefer the pronoun "they."
But going where he's going,
I don't think he'll have a say.

November, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

NFT ape

I don't know my NFTs
From L.S./M.F.T.
All I know's it look like
One big giant scam to me.

November, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Homer Simpson
Cyrptocurrency investor

 

I wonder how I let myself
Make such a dumb mistake...
Using real money
To buy money that was fake.

November, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jack Smith
Mueller redux? Veteran federal prosecutor Jack
Smith was named to lead Trump criminal probes

Makes sense, a special counsel,
Expecially when you've got
A weak attorney general
Who's afraid to take his shot.

November, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Republican elephant debating

They like to say they're tough on crime,
But that one's getting old.
If they were really tough on crime,
We'd have some gun control.

November, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Elon Musk
Elon Musk a few days after buying Twitter
(Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

I can't deny the quiet
Satisfaction that it always brings
When fabulously wealthy men
Do fabulously stupid things.

November, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kevin McCarthy, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Mitch McConnell, Paul Gosar, Matt Gaetz & Ted Cruz

Republicans in Washington
Are such a bunch 'a schmucks.
I hate the lying, cheating, whining,
Backward-looking f*cks.

November, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man saying grace

Jesus, as you prob'ly know,
The drought here is insane...
So thank you for our blessings,
But we need some frickin' rain.

November, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mehmet Oz

Fickle Republicans

They called Barack a Muslim
And they wouldn't ever quit.
But Mehmet really is one,
And they couldn't give a sh*t.

November, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Powerball ticket purchase

Powerball's two billion now;
How high's it gonna go?
I wish someone would win the thing
So I could keep my dough.

November, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man wearing large Q at Trump rally

Disinformed

What's your favorite fantasy:
The vaccine has a chip in it,
Democrats drink babies' blood,
Or Trump is still the president?

November, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

John Fetterman

Many think that letting him
Debate at all was nuts,
But one thing that it showed us
Is that Fetterman's got guts.

October, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top


Conor LambJohn Fetterman

If Pennsylvania Democrats
Had gone with Conor Lamb,
They'd be on the road to victory
Instead of in a jam.

October, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Elon Musk

He Paid How Much?!

For those of us who've never been
In love with Elon Musk,
There's always hope that Twitterland
Is where he bites the dust.

October, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Clarence Thomas

A Justice is supposed to know
What ethics are about.
If this was any other court,
They would've thrown him out.

October, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

The late Queen Elizabeth and Liz Truss

That poor Liz Truss's term was jinxed
Was clear from early on.
No sooner had she met the Queen
Than--poof--the Queen was gone.

October, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Katie Hobbs

Hobbs Refuses to Debate Lake In AZ Gov. Race

Bad decision, Katie Hobbs:
In many voters' eyes,
A candidate who won't debate
Does not deserve the prize.

October, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mookie Betts
Mookie Betts

What a year the Dodgers had!
I thought they'd never quit.
Oh, to win so many games
And see it turn to sh*t.

October, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Chechen fighters

Demonizing Chechens is
How Putin rose to power,
So isn't it ironic they're
His soldiers of the hour.

October, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mohammed bin Salman and Vladimir Putin

Look at MBS and Putin
Sticking it to Biden--
Cutting oil production when
The price was finally sliding.

October, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Herschel Walker

Herschel Walker says he's for
A nationwide abortion ban,
Even though abortion's how
He limited the Walker clan.

October, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"Groceries and shit" bag loaded with produce

For me, it's just another sign
The culture's in the crapper
When everybody black and white
Is talking like a rapper.

October, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

George W. Bush and Xi Jinping

While we were stuck in foreign wars,
China forged ahead.
If only we'd not 'stayed the course,'
And chosen theirs instead.

October, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ken Paxton
Texas AG Ken Paxton jumped in a truck driven
by his wife to avoid being served a subpoena

Attorney Generals generally
Aren't running from the law,
But ask the process server
Down in Texas what he saw.

September, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Herschel Walker and fans

Herschel says he's "not that smart,"
A quote that's gonna stick...
So how will that make voters look
If this is who they pick?

September, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Aileen Cannon

Aileen Cannon's rulings
Have been biased from the jump.
She's no impartial jurist;
She's an advocate for Trump.

September, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Queen Elizabeth II

If you don't think Americans
Are into monarchy,
Then why are we all looking at
The same thing on TV?

September, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Steve Harvey

Publishers Clearing House

Seven thousand bucks a week
For life is quite a prize.
The question is how long they let
Your lucky ass survive.

September, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Matt Gaetz
Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL)

Republicans love assholes.
That's why they vote 'em in.
The bigger flaming jerk you are,
The bigger you can win.

September, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Herschel Walker

Hot-Headed Herschel

I always figured Walker
Had a touch of CTE,
But come to find he's struggled
All his life with DID.

September, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump in jail

What the f*ck's it gonna take
For Trump to go to jail?
You wouldn't think with all his crimes
He'd be that hard to nail.

September, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Secret documents recovered by FBI at Mar-a-Lago

A picture's worth a thousand words,
And this one's no exception:
Look at all the stolen stuff
They found in Trump's possession.

September, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Rick Scott
Sen. Rick Scott (R-FL)

He criticizes Biden for
Vacationing in Delaware,
While on a yacht in Italy.
This guy's a horse's derrière.

August, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump hugging American flag

A flag has no say over where it's displayed,
So pity the red, white and blue.
If I was a prop for a traitor like Trump,
I wouldn't be happy, would you?

August, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mar-a-Lago flag

How dare he fly Old Glory
At his Mar-a-Lago home.
If he's gonna sell our secrets,
Let him use a skull and bones.

August, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Herschel Walker addressing media

Will Georgia be a laughing-stock?
The odds are rather high,
If they're gonna throw out Warnock
For the crazy football guy.

August, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man saying "Ooops!"

They finally got their way and killed
A woman's right to choose.
So now there's lots of races that
Republicans could lose.

August, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ron Johnson and Marco Rubio
Sens. Ron Johnson (WI) & Marco Rubio (FL) were among Republicans blocking a $35 cap on insulin

If they won't cap your insulin
At thirty-five a pop,
Then why ya still supporting them?
If I were you, I'd stop.

August, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jim Jordan

Usually with Jordan,
There's no shutting up the turd.
But when he witnessed sex abuse,
He never said a word.

August, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman holding "In Trump I Trust" sign
Woman protests FBI raid at Mar-a-Lago in Florida

Whatever he's accused of,
Trumpers sing the same old song:
It's all a f*cking witch-hunt;
Donald Trump can do no wrong.

August, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump on January 6, 2021

There's no defending all the hours
Donald Trump was quiet,
And didn't do a frigging thing
To try and stop the riot.

August, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Gallows erected outside U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2121

Lately it's becoming clear
That Trump is not the hero here.
Anyone who's still confused
Should try and watch some real news.

August, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Matt Damon

If you bought cryptocurrency
Cuz someone famous told you to,
Promise your dependents that's
The lamest thing you'll ever do.

July, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Cain by Henri Vidal, Tuileries Garden, Paris, 1896

The fact we can't protect our kids
From shooters is a scandal.
But what do we expect when all
Our gun laws are dismantled?

July, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Cop lifting flag
A shooter killed seven and wounded 48 in Illinois

Land of the Free

It doesn't feel like freedom
If you have to be afraid
Of dying while you watch an
Independence Day parade.

July, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

tSamuel Alito
Samuel Alito, United States Supreme Court

It really burns my britches
How we call them "Justices."
As if these sons of bitches
Even know what justice is.

July, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man shrugging

What's with "neoliberals?"
You hear that word a lot.
I thought they were the good guys,
But apparently they're not.

July, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man overheated

SCOTUS picked the perfect time
To hobble EPA,
As temperatures around the world
Get higher every day.

July, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Protest sign, "I'm as moderate as hell"

I'm the kind of voter
That you prob'ly want to keep.
I may not be the wokest,
But at least I'm not asleep.

June, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman with thumb down

Never has our highest court
Polled lower than today.
You can't just go bestowing rights,
Then taking them away.

June, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Clarence Thomas
If Roberts wants to save
The reputation of the court,
There's someone whose career
He should be trying to abort.

June, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Fence surrounding Supreme Court building

Shooting down our gun laws when
The problem's so immense...
I can't believe our highest court's
So low on common sense.

June, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

It's never easy learning that
Your hero is a heel,
But guess who kept the money that
You sent to "stop the steal."

June, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

What a country! Even if
You start an insurrection,
No one's gonna stop ya if
You run for reelection.

June, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

William Barr
Former Attorney General William Barr testifies to House Select Committee investigating January 6th

With everybody saying he's
Untethered from reality,
The best defense for Donald Trump
Is gonna be insanity.

June, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man holding sign, "Congress Do Something"

Even if a deal in
The Senate is arranged,
All we're gonna get from them
Is incremental change.

June, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man holding a sign, "Babies are murdered here"

Right to Life

If you're against abortion
But you're fine with all these guns,
I do not for the life of me
Know where you're coming from.

June, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Capitol dome through broken glass

You'd think that this would be the time
For gun control to pass,
But even a Uvalde doesn't
Get them off their ass.

June, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Uvalde TX memorial

It's easy to focus on chickensh*t cops
Who didn't make much of a stand,
But this'll take more than cojones to stop:
We need an assault weapons ban.

June, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sean Hannity

If Fox is "fair and balanced,"
Then please explain to me
Why no one gets a decent shake
Unless they're G.O.P.

June, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

J.D. Vance shaking Donald Trump's hand

Never trust a turncoat,
Like for instance J.D. Vance.
He knew that Trump was trouble;
Now he sees him as his chance.

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Chuck Norris as Walker, Texas Ranger

You look at how Uvalde cops
Performed that day, and wow--
It's not exactly Walker
Texas Rangers, is it now?

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Police in Uvalde TX

Imagine these officers armed to the teeth,
Knowing a shooter's inside,
Thinking the time to step into the breach
Is after the children have died.

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Barry Loudermilk

If Loudermilk was giving tours
On Insurrection Eve,
Why's he still in Congress?
Shouldn't traitors have to leave?

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Salvador Ramos

Again

Who gives a sh*t what his motive was?
Isn't the point that the little skuzz
Would never have done it
If he'd 'a been gunless?
The gun made the difference; it always does.

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Karen Bass
L.A. mayoral candidate Rep. Karen Bass (D-CA)

Her record is impressive and
Her promises beguiling,
But how ya s'posed to trust someone
Who's always f*cking smiling?

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Rick Caruso
L.A. mayoral candidate developer Rick Caruso

"Rick Caruso, Democrat,"
It says in every mailer.
But Rick was not a Democrat
Until he ran for mayor.

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

White House

If Trump's not held accountable
For anything he's done,
His chances of returning are
Infinity to one.

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Richard Barnett

These people aren't patriots,
At least as far as I can see.
A real f*cking patriot
Would stick up for democracy.

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

John Fetterman

If you met him in an alley,
You would prob'ly turn and run.
But Pennsylvania Democrats
Say Fetterman's the one.

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ted Nugent

Prowling the stage in a loincloth,
Ted Nugent was something to see.
But now you would not even know him:
He's ugly as ugly can be.

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Brett Kavanaugh swearing to tell the truth at his Supreme Court confirmation hearing
Brett Kavanaugh at SCOTUS confirmation hearing

He told the Senate Roe v. Wade
Was "settled law"; however,
Now he says that doesn't mean
It's settled law forever.

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

 Russian Victory Day parade rehearsal

Victory Day was s'posed to bring
Some massive escalation,
But luckily they settled for
The standard celebration.

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Susan Collins
Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME)

Kavanaugh and Gorsuch
Took Ms. Collins for a ride.
They said they'd honor Roe v. Wade,
But what a shock: they lied.

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Tattoed woman extending middle finger

I'll prob'ly get in trouble
For expressing what I think,
But if your body's perfect,
Please don't f*ck it up with ink.

May, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Marjorie Taylor Greene in "Trump won" mask
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA)

It's pretty damn discouraging,
What's happ'ning on the Hill.
You can't have a democracy
If you don't have goodwill.

April, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Lia ThomasUniversity of Pennsylvania's Lia Thomas, née Will

Letting Lia swim against
The women isn't fair.
She's bigger and she's faster
And she's still a he down there.

April, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

From new Ukrainian postage stamp featuring soldier flipping off Russian warship

Somewhere off Odessa
At the bottom of the sea,
The flagship of the Russian fleet
Is where it's s'posed to be.

April, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Boy listening nervously to radio

Hating Russia's always been
An easy thing to do.
I grew up to Khrushchev saying
"We will bury you."

April, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ketanji Brown Jackson
Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson, SCOTUS-confirmed

Republicans don't give a sh*t
What history will say.
They knew that they were full of it
And slimed her anyway.

April, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man watching TV nervously
"Breaking news from Ukraine..."

It's obvious why watching
This disaster is so tough:
For all we may be doing,
We're not doing near enough.

April, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Steve Bannon
Steve Bannon's arrest on fraud charges, August 2020

His goal is to "dismantle
The administrative state"--
Bad for normal people,
But for criminals it's great.

April, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Madison Cawthorn

No one likes a tattletale;
It makes 'em insecure.
If this guy wants to party,
He'll be on his own for sure.

April, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mitch McConnell and Joe Manchin

Manchin thinks he's good at
Making deals with these jerks.
When's he gonna notice that
It never freakin' works?

April, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kyrsten Sinema
Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (D-AZ)

The Senator is looking like
A double-crossing dirty rat
To all the folks who voted for her
Thinking she's a Democrat.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Singer Paigey Cakey went public with her traction alopecia

Speaking of Alopecia

If you braid your child's hair
As tight as it can be,
You'll only give 'em hair loss
By the time they're 23.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the 2022 Academy Awards

For anyone who didn't see
The Oscar night unpleasantness,
Here it is without the bleeps,
In all of its inelegance.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Vladimir Putin superimposed on missile strike of apartment building in Mariupol, Ukraine

Not only is he not deterred
By anything we try,
But saying what we won't do is
Emboldening the guy.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Madison Cawthorn
Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-NC)

What kind of Putin parrot says
"Zelensky is a thug"?
If only there was half a brain
Behind the handsome mug.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Russian tank and soldiers in Ukraine

Shooting at civilians.
Shooting at the press.
Shooting at a power plant
That's nuclear, no less.
You can call it "Putin's war,"
But let's just keep in mind:
It takes a lot of Russians
To commit this many crimes.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Josh Hawley
Sen. Josh Hawley (R-MO) salutes Capitol protesters
on January 6, 2021, before they riot and he objects
to Electoral College results (Photo: Francis Chung)

What's an insurrectionist
Still doing in the Senate?
Congress put a ban on that;
I thought they really meant it.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mitch McConnell and Ketanji Brown JacksonSen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) with Supreme Court nominee Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson

Now they're saying Jackson is
Supported by dark money.
Coming from Republicans,
That's really kind of funny.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man trying to wake up in the dark

Making Daylight Savings Time
The standard time all year,
The way the Senate wants to do,
Is not a good idea.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.
Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

I've had it up to here with all
This anti-vaccine crap.
If all ya got's conspiracies,
Then kindly shut your yap.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Yacht belonging to Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich

Taking all their yachts away
Is only so fulfilling.
The problem with the sanctions is
They haven't stopped the killing.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman in mask marked "TYRANNY"

If your idea of tyranny's
A stupid little mask,
Talk to some Ukrainians:
They'll straighten out your ass.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Skeptical man looking over his glasses

If you haven't figured out by now
That Trump is fulla shit,
Spare me your opinions, pal;
I couldn't care a bit.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Brianna Ruffalo

The latest rain prediction
Was just another flop.
They always get our hopes up
And it doesn't rain a drop.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Boris Johnson
UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson

Every time I see the guy,
I have to stop and stare:
An actual world leader
Who has never combed his hair.

March, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Tucker Carlson

Remember which Americans
Were cheering Putin on
When innocent Ukranians
Start dying from his bombs.

February, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Newsmax Magazine "Vlad the Great" Putin cover December 2021

They call themselves "conservatives"
But they don't have a clue.
You can't say you're for freedom
And then root for Putin too.

February, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

99 Cent Only Shopper

99¢ Only Store:
It's time to change your name.
A dollar twenty-nine
And ninety-nine
Are not the same.

February, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bob Saget, R.I.P.

The Conspiracist

Saget dying from a fall?
I'm not buying that at all.

February, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

From "Dreading" by Danielle PampFrom "Dreading" by Danielle Pamp

As much as I would like to think
This Covid thing is done,
I'm waiting for another f*cking
Variant to come.

February, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Camilla, duchess of Cornwall, and Charles, prince of Wales

Coronation Someday

It's fitting that they're planning on
A "scaled back" affair.
Why invite the people if
Their princess won't be there?

February, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

George C. Scott as General George Patton

Secure the Border

These truckers blocking bridges
Are a bunch of f*cking jerks.
Lock 'em up or mow 'em down--
Whatever f*cking works.

February, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man peeking through blinds

Thanks, Covid

I might be going overboard
With all the germ aversion.
Last time I went this long
Without sex, I was a virgin.

February, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman in funny mask

I've never been as healthy
As I've been the last two years,
So I may leave the mask on
After Covid disappears.

February, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joe Rogan

This Rogan guy reminds me of
A million other schmucks.
But Spotify is paying him
A hundred million bucks.

February, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump in darkened Oval Office

Presidents are not supposed
To tear up all their documents,
But maybe Trump had more to hide
Than other White House occupants.

February, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Merrick Garland

Attn: Merrick Garland

As far as going after Trump,
You don't seem too excited.
What more does he have to do
To get himself indicted?

February, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

I can't believe that Donald Trump
Is back out on the trail.
If D.O.J. was on the job,
His ass would be in jail.

February, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

NY Post front page 3/2/21 showing Andrew Cuomo with a woman who said he made unwanted advances at a wedding

Now that his career's destroyed,
It doesn't help a lot,
But all investigations
Into Cuomo have been dropped.

February, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man wearing large Q at Trump rally

There's millions who think Donald Trump's
The best of all our presidents.
(But they believe a lot of stuff
Without a shred of evidence.)

January, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ron DeSantis Presidential hopeful Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL)

Anyone who'd let a million
Covid tests expire
Is not the kind of manager
You really want to hire.

January, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Rosie the Riveter wearing mask

You can't do much for public health
By thinking only of yourself,
So get the shot and wear a mask
And show you're not a horse's ass.

January, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man saying "Ooops!"

When NAFTA closed our factories
From sea to shining sea,
It guaranteed that one day we'd
Be out of PPE.

January, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Vladimir Putin in 1999

Some leaders will do anything
To forge their reputation,
Like bombing their own people in
A false flag operation.

January, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin

Sucking up to enemies
And pissing on our friends...
A Russian tool must never be
Our president again.

January, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Uncle Sam

Democracy, goddammit,
Isn't something we should dump.
Not for anybody,
And especially not for Trump.

January, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

This Interview is Over

Nine minutes is all Donald Trump
Could stand with NPR.
They questioned his election lies,
And that just went too far.

January, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Melania Trump

Melania Auctioning "Iconic" Hat, Autographed

A "portion" goes to charity;
At least that's what they say.
(But when's the last time Mrs. Trump
Gave anything away?)

January, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump telling GA Secretary of State, "I just want to find 11,780 votes"

Every time he lies about us
Stealing the election,
He's doing what psychologists
Refer to as projection.

January, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump in golfcart

The fact they haven't locked him up
For any of his crimes
Is proof enough we're living in
The most corrupt of times.

January, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man scratching head

Trump Leads in 2024 Polls

I can't imagine why
They lionize the guy.
All I've ever seen him do
Is lie and lie and lie.

January, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump rioters at the Capitol 1/6/21

The country dodged a bullet
With the Capitol attack.
But Trump could snap his fingers
And the assholes'd be back.

January, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"2022" written in the sand, with a wave washing away "2021"

It's not just any New Year;
It's the last year that we've got
To salvage our democracy
Before it goes to pot.

January, 2022
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Men with assault weapons outside Governor's office, Lansing, Michigan, April 30, 2020
Two weeks after former Pres. Trump tweeted
"LIBERATE MICHIGAN!" during its Covid lock-
down, armed protestors stormed the state capitol
in Lansing. Above: outside Gov. Whitmer's office

This myth of guns and liberty
Is one big f*cking lie.
Unrestricted guns is how
Democracy will die.

December, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump being booed

They booed him when he told 'em
That he'd had the booster shot...
Trumpers proving once again,
Intelligent they're not.

December, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kyrsten Sinema and Joe Manchin
Senators Kyrsten Sinema (D-AZ) and Joe Manchin
(D-WV) are obstructing their own party's agenda

The Democrats can live without
The Build Back Better Act,
But if they don't do voting rights,
They're f*cked, and that's a fact.

December, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Father Time

If you don't do it now,
Then you'll prob'ly do it never.
Start respecting time
Before you're out of it forever.

December, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Anti-mask protester
In Jerkoff Nation, the freedom to be a jerkoff
is all that matters

Eight hundred thousand Americans dead,
And millions still won't wear a mask.
Sure would be helpful in slowing the spread;
Sorry it's too much to ask.

December, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Caveman with club

When it comes to "late adopters,"
I'm the latest, I'm afraid:
I've never bought a single thing
That Apple's ever made.

December, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Call center robots
"Thank you for calling; now go away"

Customer "Service"

Every time you call for help,
And I mean every time,
They pitch your ass on hanging up
And handling it online.

December, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joc Pederson and Corey Seager
Former L.A. Dodgers Joc Pederson & Corey Seager

I'm done with buying Dodger merch,
Cuz every time I do,
The player's playing somewhere else
Within a year or two.

December, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man looking in mirror

It's been a month of Sundays
Since my ass has gotten laid.
Covid stole my mojo;
Now I'm always too afraid.

December, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bicyclist passing street art of Covid germ

Next Up: Omicron

Covid's not behind us,
As the variants keep showing.
Until the world gets vaccinated,
This'll keep on going.

November, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump as Taliban from cartoon by Peter Brookes, The Times
From cartoon by Peter Brooke, The Times

It's easy to blame Biden
For what happened in Aghanistan,
But Donald Trump's the asshole
Who surrendered to the Taliban.

November, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joe Biden

Down in the Polls

Everything was going well
When Biden's term began;
Didn't start to fall apart
Until Afghanistan.

November, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ahmaud Arbery murder
Cell phone video captured Ahmaud Arbery's murder

Think of all the lynchings
That have happened over time
When no one had a camera on
To document the crime.

November, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Judge Bruce Schroeder

Whichever way the verdict goes
In Rittenhouse's case,
The one thing that's for certain is
The judge was a disgrace.

November, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump crowd

The fact that Trump's still drawing crowds
Should not come as a shock.
If people like the lies you tell,
They'll line up down the block.

November, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kyle Rittenhouse
Kyle Rittenhouse is pleading self-defense after
killing two and wounding one in Kenosha WI

He thought it would be cool
To go out brandishing a gun,
But in the end it only made him
Target Number One.

November, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jesus protecting children at the border in David Horsey cartoon
From cartoon by David Horsey, Seattle Times

Just cuz evangelicals
Ask "What would Jesus do?"
Doesn't mean a hill of beans
Unless they do it too.

November, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz pointing in both directions

Will We Defend Taiwan?

"Strategic ambiguity"
Is getting out of hand.
Even we don't seem to know
Exactly where we stand.

November, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Glenn Youngkin
Virginia Governor-elect Glenn Youngkin (R) told
voters he'd ban critical race theory from schools

Youngkin knows that CRT
Is not what's being taught,
But never mind reality;
What matters is they bought.

November, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joe Biden
Pres. Biden takes five at Glasgow climate summit

Dozing off at Biden's age
Is kind of understandable.
White House staff
Should give his ass
A schedule more handleable.

November, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man watching TV and drinking from a bottle

I'm tired of seeing Jayapal
On TV every day.
Give the woman what she wants
And make her go away.

November, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump rioters inside the U.S. Capitol

January Sixth was not
A false flag operation.
But leave it up to Fox
To give us more disinformation.

October, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joe Biden holding his head

It's bad enough Republicans
Are always in the way,
But Joe's not getting any help
From anyone today.

October, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Doctor and COVID patient

Fifteen hundred people
Are still dying every day,
In case you thought this Covid thing
Had finally gone away.

October, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Disgusted woman

Chanting "F*ck Joe Biden"
At a family-friendly show?
Some of Trump's supporters
Are as low as you can go.

October, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump supporters storming the U.S. Capitol

A good Attorney General
Who's not sleeping on the job
Would get the insurrectionist
Who fired up the mob.

October, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Merrick Garland

If Merrick Garland isn't up
To prosecuting Trump,
Then maybe this is someone that
The president should dump.

October, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman holding sign: "No Mandatory Vaccinations, No Micro-Chipping, No Tyrrany, No Fear" next to American flag

How jaded anti-vaxxers
In America must seem
To all the people
Round the world
Still waiting for vaccine.

October, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kyrsten Sinema

Be nice if Kyrsten Sinema
Would give some indication
Of what she needs
To get behind
Her party's legislation.

October, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"Cain" by Henri Vidal, Tuileries Garden, Paris, 1896

If Democrats can't unify
Around Joe Biden's plan,
It'll be the biggest failure
In the history of man.

October, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Uncle Sam in mask

Just Do It

Seven hundred thousand dead
Cuz all across the nation,
Millions still won't wear a mask
Or get their vaccination.

October, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Police searching Florida swamp for Brian Laundrie

Or So We Thought...

They can search that f*cking swamp
Forever and a day.
Brian Laundrie isn't there;
They let him get away.

September, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump as a flaming match addressing a crowd of bombs, in a cartoon by Duff
From cartoon by Duff Moses

Why has no one big been charged
For January Sixth?
Everybody knows who led
The insurrectionists.

September, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Larry Elder
Larry Elder

Don't call him an "Uncle Tom."
As apt as it may be,
You'll only build his image up
Among the G.O.P.

September, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Phil Valentine
Radio host Phil Valentine, felled by COVID

All the anti-vaxxers
On the radio are dying.
Hopefully, some listeners
Will find that clarifying.

September, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Anti-mask protester

I don't know what's so hard to
Understand for all these mothers:
The virus is the enemy,
Goddammit, not each other.

September, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ivermectin

Modern-day America
Is such a scammer's dream:
People will buy anything
Except a free vaccine.

September, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Clint Eastwood photographed by Patrick Swirc

I've outlived all my enemies,
So now I must decide:
Make some more, or leave it at
The assholes who have died.

September, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Larry Elder

On the California recall,
You can count me as a "no."
I don't wanna wake up
To the Larry Elder show.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Afghans on U.S. cargo plane
640 refugees packed a US cargo plane leaving Kabul

Vietnam, Afghanistan--
You know the end's arrived
When everyone you partnered with
Is running for their lives.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Afghan soldier

We don't have much to show for all
The dough we've thrown around,
Standing up these armies that
Are always falling down.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Taliban fighters in Kabul

Many of our Afghan friends
Are f*cked without a doubt:
The Taliban is now in charge
Of who'll be getting out.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joe Biden with George W. Bush in background

Takes balls to leave Afghanistan,
Even when you know
That you'll be blamed
For dumb mistakes
From twenty years ago.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hank Taylor and John Kirby

So much for all the military
Progress that we touted.
A rout's a f*cking rout and there's
No doubt that we've been routed.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Taliban fighters with American-made M16 rifle
"You get an M16, you get an M16!"

Not only can we not get back
The twenty years we fought 'em;
The same is also true for all
The weapons we just bought 'em.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ron DeSantis

If your state's still opposing masks,
Your governor's a horse's ass.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Afghans chasing departing U.S. cargo plane at Kabul Airport

Hindsight's 20-20,
But Jesus F*cking Christ:
A little planning in advance
Would really have been nice.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Taliban in presidential palace, Kabul

To see these assholes back in charge
Is sobering, for sure.
Twenty years of shoveling
And still the same manure.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Afghan and soldier

The Afghans who assisted us
Are learning, like the Kurds,
That trusting the Americans
Is kind of for the birds.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man in "World's Greatest Dad" t-shirt

I don't know what kind of
"Family values" that you've got,
If you don't love your kids enough
To get the f*cking shot.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jim Jordan

The problem isn't Jordan,
As repulsive as he's been.
The problem is the people
Who keep voting him back in.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman holding sign, "Let me call my own shots"

They fret about their "freedom,"
So they won't get vaccinated.
But I don't know how free they'll feel,
Once they're intubated.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Girl

The climate crisis won't be solved,
And Trump won't go to jail.
But I still need
To make believe
The good guys will prevail.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top


Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump

When Hitler blew his brains out
In a bunker in Berlin,
Most of us were hoping not
To see his likes again.
But Trump was more ambivalent,
Or so his wife has said:
He kept a book of speeches
By the Führer by his bed.

August, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Xi Jinping

Quarreling amongst yourselves
And getting nothing done:
Rots of ruck, America,
On staying Number One.

July, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"Welcome to Sweet Home Alabama" highway sign

The lowest vaccination rate
In all the U.S.A.
Not the place you'd wanna be
With Delta on the way.

July, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Paul Hodgins, holding flag, and Jacob Chansley, partially shown

They're locking up the perpetrators;
How about the instigators?
That's who should be doing time,
Especially the mastermind.

July, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Nurse attending Covid patient

The number of cases
Is off to the races
Cuz millions won't get the vaccine.
And there we thought Covid
Was gonna be over--
I swear, this is like a bad dream.

July, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Melania and Barron Trump
Barron Trump and his mother Melania, who is 5'11"

Barron Trump is trending
Cuz he's really, really tall.
The way the kid is growing,
He'll be seven feet by fall.

July, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mike Pence

Not What Republicans Want

In presidential polling,
Pence is bringing up the rear.
(Put your country over Trump,
And there goes your career.)

July, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"Do Not Call" Registry

How quaint the "Do Not Call" list seems
In Twenty Twenty-One.
We thought that it would stop the calls;
It's stopped exactly none.

July, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump supporters pledging allegiance

To Trump supporters who have not
Convinced themselves to get the shot:
Trump did and his wife did too,
So what the heck is taking you?

July, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Michael Fanone and Harry Dunn
Police officers Michael Fanone and Harry Dunn
leave a disappointing meeting with GOP Leader
Kevin McCarthy (AP Photo/ J. Scott Applewhite)

Republicans in Congress
Say they always "back the blue,"
But Capitol policemen
Haven't found that to be true.

June, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jeffrey Toobin

CNN has given
Jeffrey Toobin back his job.
(The understanding is
He won't be pulling out his knob.)

June, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man wearing a giant Q for QAnon

First you take some dummies,
Then you add the internet.
You would not believe
The kind of crap you're gonna get!

June, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jacob Chansley

They thought that they'd be pardoned
For the Capitol attack.
(That's some imagination,
Thinking Trump would have your back!)

June, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joe Manchin
Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV)

What good is a majority
With Democrats like Joe?
Every time we need a "yes,"
It's always f*cking "no."

June, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman begging, "Please?"

Nobody's safe until everyone's safe,
When there's a mutating disease.
So if you have not
Gone and gotten the shot,
Stop waiting and go get it, please?

June, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Richard Barnett

The traitors think they're patriots,
But patriots they're not.
All they are's the biggest suckers
Donald Trump has got.

June, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Justin Bieber

Grown-up Justin Bieber has an
Eerie, vacant look.
(So would you if you had taken
All the drugs he took.)

June, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"Stop the steal" protestors

It never seems to dawn on them,
He's lying to their face.
These Trumpers are so stupid,
I'm embarrassed for my race.

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kevin McCarthy and Mitch McConnell

Married to the Mob

We don't support investigating
January 6th.
The boss would go ballistic,
And we can't afford the risk.

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man using weed trimmer

Honest Owner's Manual

Our tools aren't sturdy,
So don't make mistakes.
Everything's plastic,
And everything breaks.

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Justin Bieber

They call it self-expression,
But it's sacrilege, I think--
To look as good as Bieber
And destroy it all with ink.

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Worried woman on phone

In both of Trump's election runs,
The polling's been awry.
('Fyer ashamed of who you're voting for,
You're prob'ly gonna lie.)

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hook baited with "Special Offer"

Home Repair

You know those Valpak coupons
Where the deals seem so nice?
Throw the f*cking things away;
You never get that price.

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

 U.S. Capitol attacked by Trump supporters on January 6, 2021

Post-Truth America

What good is a commission
To investigate the riot?
Unless it blames Antifa,
The Republicans won't buy it.

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Barack Obama and Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Hindsight's 20-20,
But if only RBG
Had hung the robe up sooner,
How much better things would be.

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man wearing funny mask

Mask Confusion

If you're seeking clarity,
Don't look to C.D.C.
They don't even know what their
Position ought to be.

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump supporters, one holding sign "Dems Cheated"

Of course the country's polarized;
I don't know how it couldn't be,
When half the population's always
Pushing some conspiracy.

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA)

What a bunch of scumbags is
The modern G.O.P.
How do you do business with
The likes of M.T.G.?

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Andrew Clyde
Rep. Andrew Clyde (R-GA)

January 6

A big lie takes big liars,
And Andrew Clyde is one,
Claiming the attack was just
Some tourists having fun.

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman wearing a Trump mask

Republicans 2021

They failed to kill democracy
On January 6th,
But they're just getting started,
The unconscionable pricks.

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kentucky Derby winner Medina Spirit and trainer Bob Baffert
Trainer Bob Baffert with Kentucky Derby winner Medina Spirit

He's got a lot of Derby wins,
But how does he explain
All the failed drug tests for
The horses that he's trained?

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman in mask and face shield administering vaccine to woman in mask

F*ck the anti-maskers
And the anti-vaxxers too.
Blessed are the people who
Do what they're s'posed to do.

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Liz Cheney

Cheney on the Ropes

Don't speak truth to power
If you're in the G.O.P.
Their capacity for candor
Isn't what it used to be.

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Robot callers

I don't have a student loan
Or auto warranty,
But tell that to the stupid bots
Who keep on calling me.
They call me when I'm working;
They call me when I'm home.
They call me so damn much
They should be paying for my phone.

May, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Anti-vaxxer

Millions won't get vaccinated;
Isn't that absurd?
To get to herd immunity,
We'd need a smarter herd.

April, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Worried woman eating a hamburger

Fake News

"Obama's coming for your guns!"
(Except he never did.)
And now they're saying Biden's
Banning burgers, God forbid.

April, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kirsten Gillibrand
Other fellow Democrats whom NY Sen. Kirsten
Gillibrand has called on to resign include MN
Sen. Al Franken, who did, and VA Gov. Ralph
Northam and Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax, who didn't

Gillibrand Strikes Again

Cuomo's just the latest in
A long, distinguished line
Of less than perfect Democrats
She's heckled to resign.

April, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Gay flag

Why'd they have to add the Q
To L, G, B and T?
Had all the bases covered there
Already, seems to me.

April, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Frustrated business owner

These unemployment benefits
Are totally berserk:
Everybody's staying home
And no one wants to work!

April, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Taliban fighter

We're ending the war in Afghantistan,
But that's not the end of the Taliban:
Soon as we go,
They'll be back in control,
With the help of our "allies" in Pakistan.

April, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Men with assault weapons outside Governor's office, Lansing, Michigan, April 30, 2020

Getting rid of gun control
Was not the brightest move.
You can't have law and order
If the laws have been removed.

April, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Matt Gaetz

Close, But No Cigar

Gaetz is not a "pedophile"
And neither is Roy Moore:
Pre-pubescent children aren't
What they're looking for.

April, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Madison Cawthorn
Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-NC)

He votes against relief and then
Takes credit when it's passed.
Typical Republican:
He's just a horse's ass.

April, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man crossing his fingers behind his back

Supposedly, deregulation
Makes the prices fall.
But that is not what happened
Down in Texas, not at all.

April, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman holding sign, "End the violence against Asians"

Spa Shooter Kills 8

Officials down in Georgia
Say his motive isn't clear.
Well, I'm in California;
I can see it fine from here.

March, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man holding sign "Return to Sender"

At the Border

What would Jesus do
If those kids were coming through?
There's a lot of "Christians"
Who don't seem to have a clue.

March, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sens. Kirsten Gillibrand and Chuck Schumer (D-NY)
Sens. Kirsten Gillibrand & Chuck Schumer (D-NY)

Top Democrats Call For Gov. Cuomo's Resignation

Circling the wagons
Is not in their skill set.
You'd think they'd have learned
From Republicans; not yet.

March, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Senior citizen

Social Security and Medicare

Label them entitlements;
You're not offending me.
I paid in all my frickin' life,
So I'm entitled, see?

March, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Anna Ruch and Andrew Cuomo on front page of NY Post under headline "Handsy Andy"

I must be out of outrage
After Trump and all his crap,
Cuz Cuomo's indiscretions
Seem like nothing next to that.

March, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sergeant Joe Friday from Dragnet TV series

The truth may not be comfortable,
But here it is again:
Donald Trump's delusional.
He didn't f*cking win.

March, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Anti-mask protester

America vs. Covid

Millions still won't wear a mask,
Despite the tiny cost.
I'm glad this isn't World War II,
Cuz our side would've lost.

March, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Cartoon of map of Texas freezing

Voting for Republicans
Is really getting old.
All they do's deregulate
And leave us in the cold.

March, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump as baby

Impeach me once,
Impeach me twice,
Impeach me all you like.
I just want my Twitter back--
I need my f*cking mike!

March, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

'Magnanimous in victory
And gracious in defeat'--
Not the kind of standards
Every president can meet.

March, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ron Johnson

I can't believe Wisconsin
Traded Feingold for Ron Johnson.
Feingold was a leading light,
But this guy is like day and night.

February, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Irritated white man

Diversity Training

A well-intentioned message
Doesn't always come out right,
Like Coca-Cola telling people
"Try to be less white."

February, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump second impeachment vote
The Senate fell short of the 67 votes needed to con-
vict ex-Pres. Trump after his second impeachment

57-43 is usually a win,
But not the way
The Senate works:
The losers win again.

February, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mitch McConnell

Excuse Our French

Isn't Mitch McConnell just
A total piece of sh*t,
Saying Trump is culpable
But voting to acquit?

February, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"Stop the steal" protestors

The election wasn't stolen.
Don't listen to these schmucks.
They can't accept the simple truth:
He lost because he sucks.

February, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Chris Christie

Chris Christie is, by all acounts,
A jolly sorta fella,
But you can tell from fifty yards
He's fulla shitzerella.

February, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Alexei Navalny

I gotta say, Navalny
Is a different kind of cat.
If someone poisoned my ass,
I don't know if I'd be back.

February, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jim Jordan
Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH)

Republicans with new ideas?
I wouldn't hold my breath.
All they ever talk about's
The Left, the Left, the Left.

February, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

To: Impeachment Defense Team

Wanna make a case for Trump
That's solid as can be?
Then call a spade a spade for once
And plead insanity.

February, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman besieged by Covid

When I finally got my vaccine,
I thought I had it made.
Didn't count on variants
To rain on my parade.

February, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump behind bars

Why Trump Lied About the Election

The biggest motivator yet
For staying in the White House
Is knowing if they throw you out,
You're headed for the big house.

January, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Homer Simpson wiping forehead

The day we thought would never come
Has finally arrived:
Trump is out and Biden's in.
Democracy survived.

January, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Uncle Sam pointing a gun at his head

Four hundred thousand Americans dead,
And millions still won't wear a mask.
Sure would be helpful in slowing the spread;
Sorry it's too much to ask.

January, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Funeral procession for Brian Sicknick, kiled at U.S. Capitol
Slain Capitol Police Officer Brian Sicknick, R.I.P.

They terrorized the Capitol
And now they gotta pay.
Terrorists don't get a pass
For chanting "USA!"

January, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump at border wall

Fifty miles of border wall
Where there was none before
Is all that Trump has gotten done,
In case you thought there's more.

January, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump rioters inside the U.S. Capitol

True Believers:

Your president's been telling you
A dirty, rotten lie.
He lost the damn election.
Now it's time to say goodbye.

January, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump supporters storming the U.S. Capitol

Nice Try, Republicans

They wanna blame Antifa for
The riot in D.C.,
As if we didn't see it all
On national TV.

January, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Fred Trump talking to his son Donald

Swindle your shareholders,
Stiff all your contractors,
Screw everybody you know.
None 'a that matters
As long as your ass is
The one that ends up with the dough.

January, 2021
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Nerd thinking

Throwing Trump off Twitter
Makes a lot of sense, no doubt,
Though I might need some new ideas
On what to tweet about.

December, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

Not Your Father's G.O.P.

The party of Lincoln, the party of Reagan:
We hear all that crap all the time.
But what with the pardons
They're handing out lately,
It's more like the party of crime.

December, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin

It's bad enough that Russia mounts
A cyberwar attack;
What's worse is that with Trump in charge,
We aren't fighting back.

December, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mitch McConnell as turtle

When Putin beats McConnell
In congratulating Joe,
It really makes our government
Look functional, you know?

December, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mitch McConnell in front of American flags

Of the people? By the people?
For the people? No.
We're here to serve the donor class.
The rest is just for show.

December, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man in mask

I don't wear my mask for you
And I'm not gonna lie:
I wear it cuz if I get sick,
I'm scared I'm gonna die.

December, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

Save Your Money

He says your contribution
Is to help him "stop the steal."
But actually it's going
In his pocket. What a deal!

December, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Michael Flynn

Martial Law, Anyone?

Suspend the constitution,
Says the pardoned Michael Flynn,
And redo the election
So my pardoner can win.

December, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

We need some legislation
To control disinformation.
We can't keep letting
Total bullsh*t
Tear apart the nation.

December, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sean Hannity

'I don't vet the information
That I put out on this show.'
(That's media malpractice, Sean,
In case you didn't know.)

December, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Twitter logo bird covered in newsprint

A retweet's worth a dozen likes.
Although a like is fine,
Unless a tweet's retweeted,
It will die upon the vine.

December, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

The White House

One more scam for old times' sake
Before I have to go:
I promise we can win this thing--
Just send me some more dough!

November, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

CNN news program with graphic showing U.S. Coronavirus Deaths So Far Today

Thank you kindly, CNN,
For "Deaths So Far Today."
Nothing like some happy news
To get me on my way.

November, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kayleigh McEnany on One America News Network

Stop What Steal?

A court requires evidence,
But out here they don't need it.
However lame the argument,
The media repeat it.

November, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Rudy Giuliani with black hair dye streaming down his cheek

Rudy's Closing Argument

A free and fair election's
What this case is all about.
If someone didn't vote for Trump,
Their vote should be thrown out.

November, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Cartoon by Kevin Siers:  Donald Trump with desk sign, "I don't take responsibility at all"

The Coronavirus President
Will never be forgotten.
Not with a performance
So exceptionally rotten.

November, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump looking in the mirror and seeing a king

"Crazy Bernie," "Crazy Nancy,"
Donald likes to say.
(But we all know who's crazier
On any given day.)

November, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Homer Simpson hitting his head and saying "D'Oh!"

Whether it's a worker
Or a president you hire,
It's never fun discovering
You picked yourself a liar.

November, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump supporters

"Lock her up!" "Send her back!"
"Build the wall!" And so on.
It's all a bunch of f*ckin' crap,
But crap is what they go on.

November, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Statue of Liberty wearing mask

If you wanna "save America,"
Don't give to Donald's PAC.
Slam the door behind his ass
And never have him back!

November, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump in golfcart

He's gotten used to playing golf
And charging it to us.
Once he has to pay himself,
I doubt he'll play as much.

November, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

Stop the count! I'm losing ground!
It isn't f*cking fair!
I was winning by a lot.
They shoulda stopped it there.

November, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Boy separated from parents at the border

To orphan children purposely
Is cruel beyond compare.
How can Christians vote for Trump?
There's nothing Christian there.

November, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Corey Seager with female fan

Dodgers Win World Series; Seager Named MVP

He's stoic, he's heroic,
He's the apple of my eye.
His name is Corey Seager
And I'll love him till I die.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hand dropping ballot into box

Although I'd like to think that our
Elections can't be rigged,
I'm less and less convinced of that,
The more and more I dig.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joe Biden

He's quite a bit more likeable
Than Hillary, for sure,
But there's still a lot of buyers
For the other guy's manure.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump looking grumpy

Let's elect a happy man;
I'm tired of this grump.
The nation needs an optimist,
Not more of Donald Trump.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Amy Coney Island

Trump Thought Balloon

Another stolen seat, and now
Another swearing-in.
You schmucks may never recognize
Your government again!

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Doctor and COVID patient

COVID

You don't see too much unity
On so-called 'herd immunity.'
Mass murder's what
They call it in
The medical community.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man shrugging

I think all these Republicans
Are dumb as dumb can be.
But judging from my Twitter feed,
They think the same of me.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man with neck tattoo

Don't tattoo your face or neck;
It marks you as a freak.
Try and get a job like that;
Your odds are gonna reek.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump supporters

These people think they're patriots,
But patriots should know
That flirting with dictatorship
Is not the way to go.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Armed Michigan protesters

Michigan Madmen

COVID is the enemy,
Not your governor.
So put your f*cking mask on, please,
And keep your hands off her.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Anti-mask protester

Don't Collude with COVID

If we'd behaved in World War II
The way we're doing now,
We'd all be speaking Japanese
And learning how to bow.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Barack Obama on vacation

Where the f*ck's Obama?
The guy's been MIA.
Tell him the election's
Only 20 days away.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Lindsey Graham

Lindsey Graham won't let himself
Be tested pre-debate.
Might be time for someone else
To represent the state.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man in blue suit and brown shoes

Brown shoes with a blue suit used to
Mark you as a hick.
But now you see 'em everywhere;
These people don't know dick.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Regeneron antibody cocktail

Saying COVID's no big deal,
Trump can go to hell.
He knows they saved his ass with things
That we can't get ourselves.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

The reason he took off the mask
When he got up the stairs
Is he was very, very, very,
Very short of air.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Secret Service agent

The last thing that he cares about
Is who he's making sick.
Like super spreaders everywhere,
He's just a selfish prick.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man watching TV nervously

Debate

I can't believe the POTUS thinks
He gave a great performance.
The gap between perception and
Reality's enormous.

October, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump as a flaming match addressing a crowd of bombs, in a cartoon by Duff

We're headed for a civil war
And it will not be fun.
It isn't like us libbies are
The ones with all the guns.

September, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Scott Atlas

Scott Atlas, M.D.

He's a neuroradiologist,
Not epidemiologist,
So saying he's an expert on
This virus is preposterous.

September, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bunny shaking head

Two hundred thousand Americans dead,
And millions still won't wear a mask.
Sure would be helpful in slowing the spread;
Sorry it's too much to ask.

September, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump supporter

Hey, Trumper

You might not be a racist
Or deplorable, it's true,
But a lousy judge of character?
Admit it, Jack: that's you.

September, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Melania Trump with hand over heart

She couldn't say the Pledge;
She didn't have a clue.
It wouldn't be too hard, I'll bet,
For Biden's wife to do.

September, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man walking in smoke

In the West

You'd have to be a moron
Not to wanna wear a mask,
Between coronavirus
And this f*cking smoke and ash.

September, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man holding signs "Get a brain, morans" and "Go USA"

This country is just dumb enough
For Donald Trump to win.
We proved it once already;
I just hope we don't again.

September, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trumpnocchio by Dana Ellyn

Another day, another lie
(Or two or three or four...
Or five or six or seven, eight,
Or sometimes even more).

September, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump supporter

People know that Democrats
Are big on civil rights.
Problem is, they think that we
Forgot about the whites.

September, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kyle Rittenhouse
Kyle Rittenhouse, 17, killed two in Kenosha WI

Open carry laws are bad;
They oughta be struck down.
Seems we're at the mercy now
Of any f*cking clown.

September, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin at Helsinki meeting, 2018

Spare me, Mr. President,
Your patriotic pitch.
More and more, it's evident
You're only Putin's bitch.

September, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump

Talking to the enemy,
You never want to fawn.
And that is where this president
Goes very, very wrong.

September, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman protesting masks

It's hard to wear a mask
When your head is up your ass.
The longer you don't do it, though,
The longer this'll last.

August, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman touching cellphone

Don't go hitting "Unsubscribe,"
Cuz that's their latest scam:
It might release some malware,
So just mark the mail as "Spam."

August, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump mocking disabled reporter

An ugly personality
And policies that suck.
You say you love your president;
All I can say is "Yuck."

August, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man on bicycle riding past building in flames, Kenosha WI

Law and order, law and order's
All he has to say.
It worked for Richard Nixon;
It could work for Trump today,
Cuz 99% of us
Are frightened of a mob.
So quit the f*ckin' riots
Or you'll help him keep his job.

August, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Republican elephant

They're horrible at running things,
But very good at running.
How they win elections while
They're f*cking us is stunning.

August, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman biting her nails

Now that there's a running mate,
The race is getting tighter.
Hope we aren't losing whites
Who wanted someone whiter.

August, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump hugging American flag

They think that he's a patriot.
That's so beyond the pale!
As if a real patriot
Would wreck the U.S. Mail.

August, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Xi-Jinping clapping

When Trump declared the virus
Would just disappear in spring,
You'll never guess who told him that:
His buddy Xi-Jinping.

August, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Boy detained by Border Patrol

He's putting kids in cages,
So it sounds a little odd
For Trump to say that Biden
Is the one who's 'hurting God.'

August, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Brian Stauffer's "Under Control," New Yorker cover showing Donald Trump with a surgical mask covering his eyes

The virus won't just "go away,"
And children aren't immune.
(Ignore what POTUS has to say;
He's crazy as a loon.)

August, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Voters being erased

Think this thing is in the bag
For Biden? Think again:
Republicans are purging voters
Everywhere they can,
And many won't discover it
Until Election Day.
So make sure you're still registered
And don't get turned away.

July, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man tossing lifeline

Millions who have lost their jobs
Have lost their health plans too,
So Medicare For All would be
A timely thing to do.

July, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Illustration, Donald Trump in hooded cowl

He wants to kill Obamacare,
No matter who gets screwed--
Amidst a damn pandemic, yet.
That's one demented dude.

July, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Anthony Fauci

Fauci's been more right than wrong
And Trump more wrong than right,
So I'm surprised it took this long
For Trump to start a fight.

July, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

Pandemic, shmandemic--
There's nothing to fear!
We'll have a vaccine
By the end of the year,
With millions of doses
In ready supply.
Trust what I'm telling you;
Why would I lie?

July, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump rallygoers in Tulsa

Everywhere he holds events,
This thing gets worse, not better.
He may not have the bug himself,
But Trump's a super spreader.

July, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump on a global wrecking ball, by Ben Kirchner

A f*cking ignoramus
Isn't what the country needs.
Imagine the improvement
If we had a guy who reads.

July, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Little Mermaid statue in Copenhagen, with "RACIST FISH" scrawled below
Little Mermaid statue vandalized in Copenhagen

In spite of what you may have heard,
I'm not a racist fish.
So put the f*cking paint away
And come and make your wish.

July, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin

Is Trump a Russian agent?
I think there's something there:
The Russians kill our soldiers
And he doesn't seem to care.

June, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman wearing mask that says "Tyranny"

Pull your head out, Trumpers,
Or you might regret it later.
If you think a mask is bad,
Just try a ventilator.

June, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Illustration of Red Skelton as Freddie the Freeloader

I can't read any news at all
With all these fricking firewalls.
The Times, The Post, they're all the same:
I think they figured out my game.

June, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Uncle Sam wearing a mask

If 95% of us
Would simply wear a mask,
It wouldn't cost us nothin'
And we'd cut the deaths in half.

June, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump walking dejectedly after poorly attended Tulsa rally

Tulsa Fizzle

It must offend his ego
That thousands would decide
That seeing him
Means less to them
Than saving their own hides.

June, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man in dark glasses eating pancakes

I won't miss Aunt Jemima.
Not only's she passé,
But all that sugar
Puts me in a
Coma anyway.

June, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump drinking water with two hands

The way he dumped on Clinton,
Always questioning her health,
It's time for Trump to taste some
Of that medicine himself:
Like, why's he need a second hand
To take a sip of water?
And doesn't going down a ramp
Take longer than it oughta?

June, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump lying

Tulsa Rally

I wouldn't make you wait
Until this virus thing is gone.
Release my liability
And come and cheer me on!

June, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Marching protestor holding "Defund the Police" sign

Catnip for Trump

It doesn't sound too practical,
"Defunding the police."
As 2020 slogans go,
I like that one the least.

June, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kevin Hassett
White House economic advisor Kevin Hassett

Wipe that smile off your face,
You stupid f*cking jerk.
In case you haven't heard it yet,
There's millions out of work.

June, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump holding a Bible outside St. John's Church, Washington, D.C.

Stunts and distractions:
That's all that we get.
Still haven't seen real
Leadership yet.

June, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Black protester yelling at white cop, neither wearing a mask

Has everyone forgotten
There's a virus going round?
Floyd won't be the only one
They're putting in the ground.

June, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man peeking through blinds

The city is reopening,
But I'm not sure I buy it.
Too much chance to catch this thing
Or wind up in a riot.

June, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Derek Chauvin murdering George Floyd
The murder of George Floyd

The thing about this Chauvin guy
I find the most grotesque:
He's looking at the camera
As he's putting George to death.

June, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Clown typing

What's with all these "liberal tears"
I've heard so much about?
These trolls could use some new ideas;
They've worn the old ones out.

May, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump leaning on golf club

Churches are essential!
They should open right away!
(Not that I'll be going;
There's some golf I need to play.)

May, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump looking dismissive

He's not a "stable genius."
He doesn't have a plan.
He's just a con
Who's out to con us
Any way he can.

May, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Runner

Huffing and puffing, not wearing a mask,
The runner is right in my face.
If common ass courtesy's too much to ask,
I think I'll just shelter in place.

May, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Protester holding sign, "Give me liberty or give me Covid-19"

I wouldn't fear a "second wave"
Of COVID in the fall.
(It's not as if the first one
Will be over, after all.)

May, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman holding No Masks sign, 'MY BODY MY CHOICE TRUMP 2020"

If Donald Trump would wear a mask,
He'd do a lot of good.
But when's the last time Donald Trump
Did anything he should?

May, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump as the Grim Reaper

Sure, we'll lose a couple lives,
But let's reopen now.
Everybody's gotta die
From something anyhow.

May, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump, Birther Nation illustration by Mario Piperni

Along with blaming Trump for all
The crap that's coming down,
I blame the ignoramuses
Who voted for the clown.
They knew he was a birther and
A climate change denier;
That's all you had to know to know
The guy's a f*cking liar.

May, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump with mouth covered by caution tape

Don't take disinfectant and
Inject it in your vein,
No matter what the POTUS says.
The POTUS is insane.

April, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Nervous woman biting her nails

Can'tcha turn the news off, honey?
I've had my fill.
If the COVID doesn't get me,
The anxiety will.

April, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Frustrated man at gas pump

No other POTUS
Before Donald Trump
Wanted to see us
Pay more at the pump.

April, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Statue of Liberty wearing a face mask

Half a million cases of
Coronavirus, folks.
(In case you needed proof it's not
A 'Democratic hoax.')

April, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mass burial pit for COVID-19 victims, Hart Island, New York City
Workers bury COVID-19 victims, Hart Island, NYC

How dumb would someone have to be
To still believe in Trump,
Through even this catastrophe?
That takes a real chump.

April, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Doctor with head in hands

No one knows who's got it
Cuz you cannot get a test,
They say a vaccination is
A year away at best,
Our doctors and our nurses
Don't have half of what they need,
And best of all, we've got ourselves
A leader who won't lead.

April, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Illustration of Donald Trump hawking snaike oil

Trust me, this elixir
Is the best that's ever been.
Sure to cure what ails ya,
And it's now with chloroquine!

April, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Cartoon by Kevin Siers:  Donald Trump with desk sign, "I don't take responsibility at all"

Harry Truman got it wrong:
The buck does not stop here.
(Unless you're counting all the bucks
I've pocketed, my dear.)

April, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump as ghoul

"Back to Work, Everyone"

He doesn't care if you or I
Come down with this infection.
All that Trump's concerned about's
His f*cking reelection.

March, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Dummies

The polling is fakakta or
The people are fugazi:
Fifty-five percent like how
He's handling this? That's crazy.

March, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

Where Are the Masks?

''The governors should get that stuff;
We're not a shipping clerk.'
It sucks to have a president
Who's such a fricking jerk.

March, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man surveying empty store shelves

No toilet paper anywhere
Means having to adapt.
Just eat more ramen every day;
You'll never have to crap.

March, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Annoyed face

I know you say it's "allergies"
But kindly keep your space,
And try and cough into your arm
And not into my face.

March, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Scared man running away

Pandemic

Being anti-social's more
Acceptable these days.
No one's told me lately that
I have to change my ways,
And try and be more open and
More trusting and more free.
Now the well-adjusted are
As paranoid as me.

March, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Brian Stauffer's "Under Control," New Yorker cover showing Donald Trump with a surgical mask covering his eyes

"I alone can fix it."
Did you really think he could?
Cuz Trump is proving dumber
Than a f*cking piece of wood,
The way he botched the testing kits
And lied about the threat.
If this guy's up to fixing things,
We haven't seen it yet.

March, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Doctor

Dx

Irony deficiency
And rampant truth decay
Are what afflict, respectively,
The left and right today.

March, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden

The Democrats don't want this race
To keep on dragging on.
They've settled on Joe Biden;
Any chance for Bernie's gone.

March, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Lululemon yoga pants

Donald Trump is like a pair
Of Lululemon yoga pants.
Anyone who's half aware
Can see through him in half a glance.

March, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Grand old party

Look at all the corporatists
We keep on voting in.
Soon we'll have another chance
To get it wrong again.

March, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Michael Bloomberg

We've seen some wealthy candidates,
But not like this before.
They say that he could outspend Trump
A hundred times or more.
But money won't be all it takes
To keep his dreams afloat:
The people have to like ya to
Get off their ass and vote.

February, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joan Lunden on "A Place for Mom" TV commercial

Get Real, Joan

"A Place for Mom," regrettably,
Costs fifty grand a year.
So till I hit the lottery,
The place for mom is here.

February, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mike Bloomberg

His ads proclaim repeatedly
That "Mike will get it done."
(That's if he wins some primaries;
So far he's been in none.)

February, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Worried man in fetal position

Chicken Little, What Say You?

I hate this f*cking field.
There's no one who's that strong.
And half of 'em, let's face it,
Will be dead before too long.

February, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Charlie Tuna

To lower your triglycerides,
Eat lotsa fatty fish--
Like salmon, trout or mackerel,
Or tuna if you wish.
As for carbohydrates,
Limit those for sure;
And stay away from processed food:
It's basically manure.

NOT INTENDED AS MEDICAL ADVICE / CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN

February, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sad bunny shaking head

What an awful precedent,
To not remove a president
Who's crooked as the day is long
And can't distinguish right from wrong.

February, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mitch McConnell signs oath book after swearing to do "impartial justice" at Senate Trump impeachment trial
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) signs oath to "do impartial justice" in the Trump impeachment trial

A trial should have witnesses;
Would someone tell the Senate?
They swore an oath to seek the truth,
But I don't think they meant it.

January, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top


Rick Perry and Ted CruzRick Perry and Ted Cruz

Texas Strangers

Perry got glasses
And Cruz grew a beard.
Whatever they're after,
It's comin' out weird.

January, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Two men at a Trump rally wearing "I'D RATHER BE A RUSSIAN THAN A DEMOCRAT" t-shirts

Traitors for Trump

"I'd rather be a Russian,"
Says the t-shirt on your back.
Then why not move to Russia?
Hell, I'll even help you pack.

January, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump as mob boss

If this guy ain't impeachable,
Then I don't know who is.
The crimes of other presidents
Seem minor next to his.*

*Excluding war crimes
January, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Iranian mourner holding photo of Gen. Soleimani

As thousands of Iranians
Shout "Death to the Americans,"
It's hard to buy
The White House line
That Trump has made us safe again.

January, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Nikki Haley

For the record, Democrats
Aren't mourning Suleimani.
Anybody saying that
Is spreading pure baloney.

January, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Two men sitting and talking, one with a dog on a leash

God, I miss the good old days.
The doctors were the best.
All these guys do nowadays
Is send you out for tests.

January, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump in golf cart

This'll make you wanna rolf:
The money that we spend on golf
For Donald Trump. It's off the charts--
Like half a million just for carts.

January, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Soleimani funeral in Tehran

To kill their biggest hero
Ain't no way to "stop a war."
You're giving them a martyr
That they didn't have before.

January, 2020
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump White House

If you guys are so innocent,
The evidence will show it.
But that's why you're withholding it;
You're guilty and you know it.

December, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hillary Clinton at Benghazi hearing

I hate to see the Democrats
Impeaching him so fast.
Republicans would take their time
And make the damage last.

December, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mick Mulvaney

Of course there was a quid pro quo!
Get over it, okay?
We do these kinds of crooked deals
Every single day.

December, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump in front of Trump University sign

It's not exactly breaking news
That Donald Trump's a crook.
The evidence was always there;
You only had to look.

November, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Michael Bloomberg

I'm sorry I did stop and frisk.
I'm sorry as can be.
And now that that's all over with,
I hope you'll vote for me.

November, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man yelling at his cell phone

They call me when I'm driving.
They call me when I'm home.
They call me so damn much I wish
I didn't have a phone,
These f*cking robocallers.
They all deserve to die!
I'd vote for anyone who'd hang
The motherf*ckers high.

November, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Michael Bloomberg

Michael Bloomberg doesn't stand
A snowball's chance in hell
Of winning down in Alabam,
As any fool can tell.

November, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi

Impeaching him in English
Is their best decision yet.
I don't know
From quid pro quo;
Extortion, though, I get.

November, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Beto O'Rourke at the dentist

Don't go live streaming
Your next dental cleaning
And end up like Beto O'Rourke.
Instagram's cool
As a general rule,
But it can make you look like a dork.

November, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Elizabeth Warren at Medicare For All event

53 trillion?
That sounds kinda high.
This health plan of Warren's
Is not gonna fly
If 53 trillion
Is what it'll take.
The voters'll tell us
To jump in the lake.

November, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Girl holding sign, "Kurds betrayed by Trump"

The Kurds were once our friends,
But that's no longer true.
They'll never trust our ass again
For dumping them; would you?

October, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump looking dismissive

In His Head

Who cares about the Kurds?
They're just a bunch 'a turds.
Let someone else
Take care of them;
This war is for the birds.

October, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump on phone

Ukraine

Need a little aid?
How's about a trade:
Help me smear the Bidens
And I'll see that you get paid.

October, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hunter and Joe Biden

I don't care if Hunter Biden
Sucks to kingdom come.
All I want's a president
Who isn't f*cking scum.

October, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

William Barr

What a f*cking whore you are,
Attorney General William Barr,
Always giving Trump a pass.
I hope they fry your big fat ass.

October, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"Trumpnocchio" by Dana Ellyn

If you needed further proof
That Donald Trump was full 'a crap,
Boy, did he deliver when
He falsified that weather map.

September, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump with weather map he altered to show Hurricane Dorian impacting Alabama

It's just the same old song:
He can't admit he's wrong.
Not the clown
You want around
When trouble comes along.

September, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump seeing himself as king in mirror

He thinks he's King of Israel,
A Twitter check will show.
If Trump is that delusional,
It might be time to go.

September, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump as tangerine

"I love the poorly educated!"
That's a real quote.
(And so would I,
If they were like
My biggest source of votes.)

September, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Weather map altered by Donald Trump to show Hurricane Dorian impacting Alabama

Alabama won't be hit
By Dorian at all,
In spite of what the dotard said;
It isn't dotard's call.

September, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mitch McConnell, John Thune and John Cornyn

"Principled conservatives"
Must be in short supply:
Instead of bringing down the debt,
They're blowin' it sky high.

September, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Tucker Carlson

Every day the talking heads
Dispense their latest views.
Problem is that people are
Confusing that with news.

August, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

The Balkans and the Baltics:
He doesn't know the diff.
Pray to God this faker doesn't
Take us off a cliff.

August, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Couple kissing next to Amazon Echo device

Everyone's entitled to
Their private little zone.
That is why I'll never have
Alexa in my home.

August, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man wearing large Q at Trump rally

Whoever started QAnon
Should really get a prize
For showing how susceptible
We are to stupid lies.

August, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump promoting Trump University

Whereas Richard Nixon
Left office in disgrace,
Donald Trump came in that way,
If you recall the case:
Right after the election,
He had to up and pay
Twenty million-plus to make
A fraud suit go away.

July, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump "Russia, if you're listening..."

"No collusion? No obstruction?"
What a f*cking lie.
No wonder Trump's so thrilled
At seeing Mueller testify.

July, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"Breaking News"

Every time they show his tweets,
They amplify the lies.
Ignoring Trump's the only way
To cut him down to size.

July, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump's brain

Although I'm not a doctor,
I concur that he's insane.
(How the hell at this late date
Could any doubt remain?)

July, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Rashida Tlaib, Ayanna Pressley, Ilhan Omar & Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Trump v. the Squad

To say they "hate America"
Is dangerous from the start,
Consid'ring all the whackos who
Could take that sh*t to heart.

July, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kim Darroch

"Inept, insecure and incompetent,"
The British ambassador said,
Regarding America's president...
And then it was off with his head.

July, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Dummies

2020

This dipsh*t of a president
Still has a lot of fans.
I wouldn't bet against him,
As the situation stands.

July, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin

Treason is the reason
For impeaching Donald Trump:
The guy's in Putin's pocket
And he's been there from the jump.

July, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joe Biden sniffing a woman's hair with his hands on her shoulders

Joe's principal foe
Has always been Joe;
He was born with a foot in his mouth.
If he gets to be
The next nominee,
Just pray that it doesn't go south.

July, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man watching race with binoculars

Democrats 2020

Watch who's filling stadiums
And who can't fill a hall:
Knowing who to nominate
Should not be hard at all.

June, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top


Two ostriches with heads in the sand

Mueller won't indict him
And Pelosi won't impeach.
God forbid the lesson
2020's gonna teach.

June, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

White House tour group

If I was on the White House tour
And had some indigestion,
I'd try and pass
Some "freedom gas"
In Donald Trump's direction.

June, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump rally carried live on TV

The media are much to blame
For Donald Trump's success.
They clean up in the ratings game
And leave us with the mess.

June, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mitch McConnell

They're calling him a hypocrite,
But I don't think he gives a sh*t.
Mitch McConnell ain't the kind
To pay the public any mind.
Long as there are courts to pack,
The one percent'll have his back.

June, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Robert Mueller

Choke

'We can't indict the president;
It isn't constitutional.'
Not to be indelicate,
But Mr. Mueller's full of bull.

June, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump in Russian hat

Trump obstructed justice
But that's not his main offense:
On Russia he's done bupkis
When we need a strong defense.

May, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump in the emperor's new clothes

#ReadTheReport

It's obvious that Donald Trump
Colluded and obstructed.
Most of us would be in jail
For half the sh*t the f*ck did.

May, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

The way to make space
For your personal power
Is laying to waste
Institutional power,
Including the Congress,
The courts and the press:
You can't have more power
If they don't have less.

May, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joe Biden

Don't campaign on how bad Trump is;
We already know.
Tell us what you'll do for us,
And be specific, Joe.

May, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Some 116th Congress freshmen

"This Congress is the most diverse
The country's ever seen."
That's wonderful. Now get to work:
Impeach the tangerine.

April, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Person holding "Medicare For All" sign

A health plan that's affordable's
Available, no jive!
You only have to wait until
You're over 65.

April, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump saying, "Russia, if you're listening..."

It's totally preposterous
To say there's no collusion.
He did it right in front of us;
That wasn't an illusion.

April, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Pete Buttigieg

A president who's gay would send
These Trumpers off the edge
(Practically a reason for
Electing Buttigieg).

April, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

William Barr

William Barr is lying
When he says the feds were "spying"
On the Trump campaign,
But that's a claim
A lot of chumps are buying.

April, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Kirstjen Nielsen

Kirstjen Nielsen

When putting kids in cages
Ain't enough to show you're tough,
Be glad you're getting fired,
Cuz you've whored yourself enough.

April, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"Trumpnocchio" by Dana Ellyn

He promised us a healthcare plan
That's "better than Obamacare."
So far, there's no sign of that;
Just bigger problems everywhere.

April, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

Why's he wear his ties so long?
You know the explanation
Has gotta have a lot to do
With overcompensation.

April, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Robert Mueller

As much as I respect the
Special Counsel, I'll be blunt:
I never would have thought he'd
Be the kind of guy to punt.

March, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump on a global wrecking ball, by Ben Kirchner

Two years in, you know
What kind of president you've got,
And this one is a wrecking ball;
Much more than that, he's not.

March, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump saying "Russia, if you're listening..."

I don't buy their conclusion
That there was no collusion.
He did it right
Before our eyes;
That wasn't an illusion.

March, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Elizabeth Warren

"Let's end the electoral college!
We gotta get rid of it now!"
I'm with you there, Senator Warren,
But--not to be difficult--how?

March, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump looking snide

A scoundrel and a scalawag
Is what he's proved to be.
The day he's out of office
Can't come soon enough for me.

March, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman talking to psychiatrist

It's this feeling of foreboding
With the way that people drive.
Every day I wonder
If I'll make it home alive.

March, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump behind bars

How I'd like to see
This lying S.O.B.
Doing time
For all his crimes,
The way it's s'posed to be.

March, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Alexandria Orcasio-Cortez

AOC for president?
She's definitely bold enough;
Only slight impediment's
The fact that she's not old enough.

March, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Christopher Wray

I can't get past the nagging feeling
Something's wrong with Wray,
Though all of Trump's appointments really
Make me feel that way.

February, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman looking up, praying

I have a little ritual
I probably should hide,
But every day I check the news
To see if Trump has died.

February, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

A man in blackface and a man in KKK garb from Ralph Northam's medical school yearbook page

Gov. Northam

At first he said he's sorry
For that photo he was in,
So it's kind of hard to swallow
When he says it isn't him.

February, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin

Trump's a Russian asset.
He proves it every time
He cozies up to Putin and
Repeats the party line:
Like, "Mueller's on a witch hunt,"
Or "NATO's obsolete."
You wanna know what Russia thinks?
Just read Trump's latest tweet.

February, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ed Buck

The Word on Ed Buck

He likes to prey on young black men
And shoot them up with meth.
Unconscionable, even when
It doesn't lead to death.

January, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani

My lawyer is a f*ck up
But I think I'll let him stay.
It's hard to fire anyone
Who'd lie for you that way.

January, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

'I never said that Mexico
Was paying for the wall.'
Oh yes, you did, you dirty dog;
A zillion times in all.

January, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mitch McConnell, John Thune (in back) and John Cornyn

Who's the one who looks like Lurch
Who's always in the back,
Counting down the decades till
He gets to lead the pack?

January, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Three men walking through town destroyed by hurricane

Climate change is real;
Donald Trump is fake.
If you got it backwards,
Wisen up, for heaven's sake.

January, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump as snake oil salesman

#TrumpShutdown

It takes a lot of nerve
To try and stick us for the wall.
The promise was that Mexico
Was paying, after all.

January, 2019
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Lady Justice peeking from blindfold

Why are they so hesitant
To charge a sitting president?
Let's just get it
Over with,
And then you got your precedent.

December, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Heart shaped cactus

The desert's either way too hot
Or else it's way too cold.
So think before you move there,
Cuz it will get f*cking old.

December, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man wearing "Don't touch my junk" t-shirt

It's bad enough you'd wanna call
Your genitals your junk,
But wear it on a t-shirt?
Have some class, ya little punk.

December, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

John Kelly

Trump will have to draft
Another Chief of Staff.
General Kelly's
Had it shoveling
Sh*t on his behalf.

December, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sarayu Blue in "I Feel Bad" TV show, pulling her turtleneck sweater up, obscuring chin and neck

"Firm your aging neck!"
"Fix your crepey skin!"
My TV keeps reminding me
What sorry shape I'm in.

December, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump pointing to his brain

He seems to think that no one has
A brain as big as his.
(An ignoramus never knows
How ignorant he is.)

November, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Farmer putting "Farmers for Trump" sign in the ground

A classic city slicker,
He conned the country rubes...
And now their very livelihood
Is going down the tubes.

November, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump embracing

He "fell in love" with Kim Jong Un;
The problem, folks, is this:
Kim is out to f*ck us and
There won't be any kiss.

November, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump Cream of Bullsh*t Soup

First he says he'll "drain the swamp,"
And then we get Scott Pruitt.
Next he says he'll "build the wall,"
But still can't seem to do it.
Then he gives us "tax reform,"
And rigs it for the rich.
He says he's kept his promises;
My question would be, which?

November, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

Every time he runs his mouth,
He tells another lie...
The bigger lie, the better;
That's what people like to buy.

November, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump as a flaming match addressing a crowd of bombs, in a cartoon by Duff

Pittsburgh Synagogue Shooting

He carps about the "caravan,"
And pretty soon a crazy man
Is killing
Fellow citizens
He thinks are with the boogeyman.

October, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

George Clooney

Thank the Lord, I've kept my hair.
It's going grey, but I don't care:
It frames my face
In any case,
And I'm just glad it's f*cking there.

October, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Young lady with two thumbs up

You gotta love 'em, rich or poor:
The 99¢ Only Store
Knows how to keep
The prices cheap,
As everybody else's soar.

October, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man watching TV through his fingers

My team may have won the division,
But I got a sneaking suspicion
It's gonna end sadly,
They're doing so badly
With runners in scoring position.

October, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Brett Kavanaugh

Low Road to the High Court

Kavanaugh's less credible
Than Christine Blasey Ford,
But there's an old tradition here:
Accusers get ignored.

October, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Brett Kavanaugh

Is this guy the best that we've got?
I get the impression he's not,
The way he's attacking
The Senators asking
Him questions, the impudent snot.

October, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman posing with giraffe she shot dead in Africa

It's hard to fathom anybody
Pulling such a stunt.
Don't even have to know her
And you know that she's a c*nt.

October, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump-nocchio by Dana Ellyn

Update

Five thousand lies and counting,
According to the Post.
When Donald's under pressure's when
He tends to lie the most.

September, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Question mark superimposed on a silhouette of a man in front of the White House

Whoever wrote that op-ed piece
Deserves a lot of credit:
The president who never reads
Was so intrigued, he read it.

September, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump supporter holding "Lock Her Up" sign

Midterm Strategy

'We can't discuss impeachment
Lest we rile up his base.'
(I guess it's also out to call 'em
Stupid to their face?)

September, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Devin Nunes

Devin Nunes has to go,
And sooner versus later.
It's obvious the f*cking shmoe
Is nothing but a traitor.

August, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"All our tires are gluten free" sign at Fountain Tire

Why do they put "gluten-free"
On everything these days?
Most food never had it
But it's labeled anyways.

August, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Overheated man holding plastic water bottle to his head

"Anomalously warm" is what
The next five years will be.
That's one more bit of lousy news
I didn't need to see.

August, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man holding Nazi banner

An English poet long ago
Said "Ignorance is bliss."
I don't think he was thinking, though,
Of ignorance like this.

August, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Rudy Giuliani

"Collusion's not a crime"
Is Rudy's latest line.
This Trump defense
Is getting less
Convincing all the time.

August, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump golfing

A Way Out

Let's just pay his ass to leave;
He's gotta have a price.
Someone who's so greedy
Should be easy to entice.

August, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Wayne LaPierre

Once your common sense
Is overcome by ideology,
Do us all a favor:
Stay away from public policy.

August, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin

What does Putin have on Trump?
I'm not sure we should care.
Just realize
He's compromised,
And get him out of there.

July, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump in hooded cowl

Once they bought the birther sh*t,
That's all he had to know:
There was no frickin' limit
As to how low he could go.

July, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sad teddy bear looking out window

We lost our local toy store
(Which served us all just fine)
To Toys R Us,
Then they went bust,
And now it's all online.

July, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump Birther Nation illustration by Mario Piperni

#Civility

Donald Trump's a racist pig,
In case you hadn't noticed.
Must be plenty like him, though;
He ended up the POTUS.

June, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Little boy surrounded by border patrol

Separating children from
Their parents at the border...
What criminal behavior in
The name of law and order.

June, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kim Jong Un shaking hands with Donald Trump

Donald Trump's delusional
To think he's solved Korea.
A photo op with Kim Jong Un
Is not a panacea.

June, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump supporters holding hands over hearts

There's nothing like the bond
Between the con man and the conned.
They'll probably stick together
Through impeachment and beyond.

June, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Angela Merkel, Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau

I've got bigger hands than Trump
And better eyebrows than Trudeau...
A smaller waist than Merkel;
Maybe I should run the show.

June, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump

The Dilettante

Who needs preparation?
I do it all by feel.
I'll know within a minute
If we're gonna have a deal.

June, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump holding Bible

"Blessed are the lying f*cks:
For they shall rule the world."
That will be our Bible verse
For next week, boys and girls!

June, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Cartoon of Donald Trump in the emperor's new clothes, by Sack in the Star Tribune

Any more self-pardon talk
Would not be to his benefit.
All it does is make it clear
He knows he isn't innocent.

June, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Skeptical man looking over his glasses

I'm here for my free consultation.
They tell me there's no obligation,
So don't try and close me
And don't try and hose me;
Just give me the damn information.

June, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump rallying supporters

He lies and lies and lies and lies
And people still believe him.
What's it gonna take for all
These nincompoops to leave him?

June, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Roseanne Barr

When you've got a racist thought,
Before you go and tweet it,
Let that sucker sit a while;
You'll probably delete it.

May, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump-nocchio by Dana Ellyn

Three thousand lies and counting,
According to the Post.
Of all our lying presidents,
This one has lied the most.

May, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

The White House with Help Wanted sign

If you think it's acceptable
To badmouth John McCain
While he's in Arizona
Fighting cancer of the brain,
You might just be the kind of gal
The White House wants to hire.
A total lack of decency--
That's all that we require.

May, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump and enraptured supporters

Just because you're Christian
Doesn't mean you're not a chump.
Look how evangelicals
Have gone for Donald Trump.

May, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ajit Pai

"The good news is, the Fairness Doctrine's
Dead," says Ajit Pai.
The bad news is, the FCC is
Headed by this guy.

May, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Suspicious old woman

Everybody's wanting in on
My Last Will and Testament...
Even those who've treated me like
Nothing short of excrement.

April, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Otto Warmbier & Kim Jong UnOtto Warmbier & Kim Jong Un

Attn: White House

"Honorable"'s not a word
I'd use for Kim Jong Un.
Would someone brief the president
On all the sh*t he's done?

April, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Girl with crazy glasses

Corruption under Trump
Is on a level that's insane.
You'd have to be on drugs
To think the swamp is getting drained.

April, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Scott Pruitt

Republican Senators blew it
When they allowed someone like Pruitt
To run EPA;
He was never okay
With its mission, and they f*ckin' knew it.

April, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

James Comey

'I cannot answer anything
You're asking me tonight.
Just put the frickin' book up
So they get the title right.'

April, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Scott Pruitt
EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt

Carson, Pruitt, Zinke--
What a cabinet of thieves,
Ripping off the public
Like they couldn't care who sees.

April, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Angry man

E-bicycles, e-tricycles,
E-scooters and the like
Are f*cking up the bike paths where
I used to like to bike.

April, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

We're getting out of Syria!
No wait, we're staying in.
Check with me tomorrow;
I may change my mind again.

April, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump

Fishy

Russia's still attacking us,
And look how Trump's responded:
Instead of kicking Putin's ass,
The two of them have bonded.

April, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Cartoon  of terrified man running away

Family Night

Thursdays are germ days at Hometown Buffet.
You wanna stay healthy? You'd best stay away,
Cuz starting at 4, they got kids out the ass
Coughing on everything under the glass.

March, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Illustration of lovestruck girl by rawrx3zoey

Conor Lamb is cute as f*ck,
If I may be so bold.
I hope he runs for president
Before he gets too old.

March, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Conor Lamb
Rep. Conor Lamb (D-PA)

The Democrats have found themselves
A brand new shining knight.
He flipped a district Trump had won
By twenty points. All right!

March, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump Jr. on TIME cover

When Russia offered dirt on Clinton,
Junior said, "I love it."
So claiming there was no collusion...
Donald Trump can shove it.

March, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Memorial for Meadow Pollack, Parkland FL mass shooting victim

#EnoughIsEnough

You shouldn't be able to walk in a store
And purchase some horrible weapon of war,
Whatever your background, whatever your age.
Surprising it's still a debate at this stage.

March, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mark Zuckerberg

I wish these Russian trolls
Would shut their f*cking holes,
Or Zuckerberg & Company'd
Come up with some controls.

February, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

KCBS' Amber Lee in front of Southern California weather map

Another winter storm they hyped,
And all we got was cold.
This megadrought of megadroughts
Is really getting old.

February, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Garrison Keillor

I can't believe how MPR
Has cancelled Keillor's show.
The list'ners are the losers here,
I hope they f*cking know.

February, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

He won't read the intelligence
They give him every day,
But I guess it's for the better
Cuz that's less he'll give away.

February, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Devin Nunes in Russian uniform

He's not your dad's Republican,
This Devin Nunes guy.
Daddy hated Russians and
He loved the FBI.

February, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Cartoon of Donald Trump with a sh*thole for a mouth
"Sh*thole"

He's gotta love how cable news
Repeats his every line,
As hungry as he is for our
Attention all the time.

January, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Female protester holding a sign, "Pat Meehan: REPAY & RESIGN!"

It's "he said, she said" with these things,
But one thing that we know:
To squelch his aide's
Harassment claim,
He used the people's dough.

January, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bill Kristol

Prognostically Challenged

Bill Kristol has a history
Of never being right,
But you gotta give him credit:
He keeps trying every night.

January, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Steve Bannon

Bannon's out at Breitbart News,
But soon enough, I'm sure,
The Mercers will find someone else
To peddle their manure.

January, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Marianne Williamson addressing followers

Marianne Williamson

"Does that make sense?" she asks again,
The thirty-seventh time.
I gotta find the exit
'Fore I lose my frickin' mind.

January, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Teddy Roosevelt

TR: Speak softly and carry a big stick.
DT: Tweet ca-ca and act like a big dick.

January, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump

'My nuclear button is bigger than yours,'
The president taunted his foe.
With both of the principals outta their gourds,
You wonder how far this could go.

January, 2018
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bikers for Trump rally

Trump

In my humble view, he's a put-on
Who defiles every stage he sets foot on.
But this ain't a crowd
Where I'd say that out loud;
End up with my head getting stood on.

December, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

European parade float showing Trump humping the Statue of Liberty

The country's reputation
Is in tatters overseas.
That's the risk you take when
You entrust it to a sleaze.

December, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Roy Moore on horseback

No Moore

F*ck Roy and the horse he rode in on!
The good guys have actually won.
And nobody needs his concession;
The race is still over and done.

December, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Martin Bashir on MSNBC

Whatever happened to Martin Bashir?
One crack about Palin, and he's outta here!
Must be a challenge to be on TV...
With my kinda mouth, I'd be out 1-2-3.

December, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump-supporter

They thought he's for the little guy,
Cuz that's how he campaigned.
Just wait until they get to hear
His tax reforms explained.

December, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mother Jones illustration of rich people manipulating government to the detriment of working people

The fat cats are impressed:
This tax bill is the best!
It gives to those it oughta,
And it takes from all the rest.

November, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jared Kushner

"You think they'll get the president?"
The son-in-law inquired.
I wouldn't rule it out, my friend;
You never know who's wired.

November, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

TV weather gal showing sunny forecast

The "atmospheric river"
Isn't flowing anymore.
The rainy season this year
Isn't like the one before,
When there was so much rainfall
That they said the drought was done.
Now rainy season's back again,
And all we've got is sun.

November, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Beverly Young Nelson

Republicans are fleeing Moore,
But there's an inconsistency:
How come they're still backing Trump?
He's got the same damn history.

November, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Roy Moore brandishing gun at rally

They'll stick with Moore no matter what,
Cuz one thing Alabama's got's
A rebel streak a mile wide;
They love a guy we can't abide.

November, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bunny shaking head

Why ya keep voting Republican?
Y'actually wanna get f*cked again?
Isn't it true
They've done nothin' for you?
Never too late to wake up, my friend.

November, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump trying to kiss Olivia Culpo, Miss Universe 2012

If Harvey Weinstein is a pig,
Then what does that make Trump?
Look at all the women
Oinky Oinker's tried to hump.

November, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Dejected young baseball player

To hit into a triple play
With bases loaded, no men out,
Will teach a fella right away
What pain and suff'ring's all about.

November, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Devin Nunes

The Republican side of the aisle
Is so f*ckin' stuck in denial
That all they can do
With this Russiagate news
Is reopen the Hillary file.

October, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mitch McConnell

'Now's not the time for a gun debate.'
Actually, guys, it's a little late...
For those who have died
Because someone decided
That now was the time to deregulate.

October, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kevin Brady, Donald Trump and Paul Ryan

This gun law blocking, science mocking
Backward bunch 'a scum
Would not know civic duty if it
Bit 'em on the bum.

October, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

Sowing discord sea to sea
Is Donald Trump's forté.
Wonder who the S.O.B.
Is picking on today.

October, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

In Florida and Texas,
He was Johnny on the spot.
But down in Puerto Rico,
He's unfortunately not:
The people have no water,
Have no power, have no food...
And all he does is talk about
The debt that they've accrued.

September, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Aaron Hernandez

In fifty years, will football be
The game it is today?
Or will the fear of brain disease
Make players stay away?

September, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mark Christopher Lawrence as irate sales clerk in NBC TV show "Chuck"

We're out of Tiki torches, sir;
We'll get some more next week.
But sheets are all on sale,
If you'd like to take a peek.

September, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Alt-right marchers in Charlottesville VA

Word of the Day

When Donald Trump's supporters
Are referred to as the "base,"
It could be noun or adjective,
Depending on the case.

August, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump using KKK hood as megaphone--The Economist cover illustration

CEOs are dumping Trump
As quickly as they can.
'F he's gonna cost 'em customers,
He's not their kind of man.

August, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

From Rosie O'Donnell
To Mitchell McConnell,
The pattern is always the same:
He needs to be fighting
To keep it exciting,
So havoc's the name of the game.

August, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Vladimir Putin dangling puppet Donald Trump

Putin's puppet's in the house!
Why, only just today,
He thanked his ass
For sending half
Our diplomats away.

August, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"Libtard snowflakes" illustration

I've studied these "conservatives"
And how they play the game:
If they can't beat ya with ideas,
They'll call your ass a name.

August, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jeffrey Lord

I'm done with these panel discussions.
If somebody's still in denial
That Trump is in bed with the Russians,
It's time to be turning the dial.

August, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Christopher Wray

There's more to him than meets the eye,
This new man at the FBI.
He's mostly worked
For bad guys, but
He gets the job; I wonder why.

August, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

White House

According to our president,
The White House is a "dump."
Just another reason for
Evicting Donald Trump.

August, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top


Donald Trump and John Kelly

From the halls of Montezuma
To the shores of Tripoli,
The toughest job a tough Marine
Is ever gonna see
Is serving as the Chief of Staff
To someone who's berserk.
Good luck to General Kelly,
But we doubt it's gonna work.

July, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and John McCain

Attn: Mr. Trump

It's fun to dump on everyone,
But there's a price to pay:
They won't be there to help ya when
You're needing it someday.

July, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bush and Cheney Wanted poster

Why do Bush and Cheney
Never leave the USA?
They fear they'd be arrested,
Is what many people say.
(Although that sounds appropriate,
It prob'ly isn't true;
There aren't any warrants out
For either of the two.)

July, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump hugging flag

"These colors don't run," goes a popular song,
But I'm not so certain, since Trump's come along.
The flags at the White House, particularly,
Look redder and redder and redder to me.

July, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kamala Harris

The money is flowing to Kamala Harris
And tongues are beginning to wag
That this is the one they should put up for POTUS;
She's kind of Obama in drag.

July, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump, Jr. on Time Magazine cover: "Red Handed"

Like father, like son:
Donald Jr.'s a liar.
Each statement he gives
Contradicts the one prior.

July, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Clock melting

Note to Self:

No one's gonna pay ya
For the crap you put on Twitter.
It's one gigantic waste 'a time;
They oughta call it Fritter.

July, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Dummies

The president's been compromised,
But tell that to his base.
They wouldn't get the picture
If you put it in their face.

July, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell

False Advertising

How's it called a "health care" bill?
A health care bill it's not,
If millions stand to lose
The only health care that they've got.

July, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Chris Christie

People like tough-talking assholes,
Dishing it out from the stump.
That's how you get these disasters,
Like W., Christie and Trump.

July, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mitch McConnell, John Thune and John Cornyn

Although you'd think they'd have a plan
With eight years to prepare,
They haven't gotten much beyond
"Repeal Obamacare."

July, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Marcus Tullius Cicero

Read Cicero on treason;
You will find it quite enlightening.
The traitor he describes is
So familiar that it's frightening.

June, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mitch McConnell talking to Ted Cruz

GOP Health Care

They can't attack what they can't see,
So let's design it secretly.
If millions stand
To lose their plans,
Like, why upset 'em needlessly?

June, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Realtor greeting card showing house

Junk Mail

The card says "Happy Father's Day,"
Though I am not a dad.
(That's not their main point, anyway;
They wanna list my pad.)

June, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

James Comey

The president's a liar,
So I thought I'd make some notes.
It pays to CYA
With all the bullsh*t that he floats.

June, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Michael Flynn

Other than the fact he lied,
Everything is classified.
Wonder if
We'll ever get
To find out what he has to hide.

June, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man awake in bed at night

City birds are so confused;
They sing all frickin' night.
They don't know when it's time to snooze
With all this frickin' light.

June, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Thom Hartmann

It's not that RT doesn't have
Good people on the air.
It's just that, what with who's in charge,
I wouldn't watch 'em there.

May, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Lucille Ball as Lucy, puzzled

These f*cking people go to church
And claim to be devout,
And then they vote for Donald Trump.
Explain what that's about.

May, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bill O'Reilly and Roger Ailes

Bill O'Reilly's off the air
And Roger Ailes is dead:
Two less guys
The distaff side
Of Fox will have to dread.

May, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Fox and Friends cast: Brian Doocy, Ainsley Earhardt & Brian Kilmeade

There is a there there, nincompoops:
The Russia story's real.
So don't sell out your country to
Protect an old schlemiel.

May, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump addressing Lester Holt

Donald Trump is such a dolt.
He spilled the beans to Lester Holt
And told him why Jim Comey's gone:
That "Russia thing's" still going on.

May, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kevin Brady, Donald Trump and Paul Ryan

How in the hell do you stop
A Russian intelligence op,
When those in control
Have the opposite goal--
Protecting the tool at the top?

May, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

He "thought it would be easier,"
This presidency thing.
That alone should tell ya
He's a f*ckin' ding-a-ling.

May, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man wearing Bud Lite carton as hat and empty beer cans as necklace

Imagine a man with no impulse control
Winning the White House at last,
And getting his hands on the nuclear codes.
Doesn't that sound like a blast?

May, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump pointing

Mexico, he promised,
Would be paying for the wall.
But now that he's the president,
It's not that way at all:
It's we who have to pay for it,
At fifty billion-plus.
Amazing, with this president,
How little you can trust.

April, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man perplexed at his "smart" phone

I know how to spell, but my "smart" phone does not.
It "auto-corrects" everything on the spot,
So nothing makes sense when I'm done with a text.
I wonder what crap they'll be thinking up next.

April, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Nervous man

Everybody wants my dough
Since Donald Trump got in.
My name must be on every
Lefty list that's ever been.
Once ya give 'em anything,
They're always back for more.
I wish I were a millionaire,
But most I must ignore.

April, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Secret meeting

"The president has gone insane.
So what do we do now?"
"It's obvious we gotta get him
Outta there somehow.
The 25th Amendment,
For example, is a way
That Pence could be the president
And Trump would go away.
"

March, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Frustrated woman

Spare me the upsell, goddammit!
You're pushin' so hard I can't stand it.
I only want
What I told you I want.
If that doesn't suit ya, then cram it!

March, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Verbizi girl

Celebrex and Vesicare
And Nexium and Lyrica:
There's a pill for everything
In modern-day America.
Anyone who visited
And looked at our TV
Would have to think these f*ckers
Are as sick as they can be.

March, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump extending his hand to a reluctant Justin Trudeau (not shown)

Anyone can understand
Why no one wants to shake his hand:
It's like you're being lassoed;
It's the rudest sh*t in all the land.

February, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump in a Russian hat

Russia must see Trumpsky as
The answer to their prayers.
They could build the Berlin Wall
Again for all he cares.

February, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top


Betsy Davos and Steve MnuchinBetsy Davos and Steve Mnuchin

They're clever, these Republicans,
But what should make us nervous is
They're out to wreck the government
And privatize its services.

January, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

So now it's done: he's president,
And crazy as a loon.
He's gonna make a mess of it;
The question is how soon.

January, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Shady accountant with calculator

Statistics can be made to lie.
For instance, take the CPI:
It always shows
Inflation's low,
When everybody knows it's high.

January, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump as pirate with Paul Ryan as parrot on his shoulder

Republicans will have themselves
The mother of all booties
If they can shrink the government
And privatize its duties.

January, 2017
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump protesters

Looking Ahead

"Trump is not my president!"
That's really kinda reachin'.
He is the goddam president;
That's why we must impeach him.

December, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hillary Clinton

She Should Be President, But...

Her "basket of deplorables"
Remark was kind of dumb.
You don't insult the voters;
That is Rule Number One...
Or tell them they'll be unemployed
As soon as you get in.
It's arrogant to talk that way
And think that you can win.

December, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man in Volvo commercial

Volvo has an ad campaign
That leaves me high and dry.
There's someone getting married
And we're s'posed to care, but why?

December, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Girl looking at phone

Coupons are a way of life;
Ya gotta have the coupon.
But stick with stuff you know you like,
Not crazy crap on Groupon.

December, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Mitt Romney

He labeled Trump a "phony;"
Now he goes and licks his hand.
If you're ashamed of Romney,
I completely understand.

December, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Electoral College = Voter Suppression protest sign

Our system is so stupid
That it makes you wanna cry.
Democracy it isn't,
But we hang on to the lie.

December, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

David Niven in tuxedo

"Pet friendly" isn't something
That I look for on vacation.
The pets are always dogs,
And that's a certain indication
You're gonna be awakened
At a very early hour...
A frightfully good way
To make a holiday go sour.

December, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hillary Clinton in crown

A word to establishment Democrats:
You could've had Sanders, remember that.
Polls showed that he
Was much stronger than she
Against Trump; don't know what you were lookin' at.

December, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bernie Sanders and Hillary ClintonBernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton

I've never liked a candidate
As much as Bernie Sanders.
I got his message right away;
Could never understand hers.

December, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Body of Abdul Razak Ali Artan under sheet

An OSU student, Abdul,
Drove into a crowd at his school
And then started stabbing 'em.
He won't do that again.
Got what he asked for, the fool.

November, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bernie Sanders supporters

You'd rather have a candidate
Who fills a frickin' stadium
Than someone who can barely fill
A middle school gymnasium.

November, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

We didn't like his temperament
And knew he wasn't fit,
But still we made him president.
Ain't that a bunch 'a sh*t.

November, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hillary Clinton and Beyonce

A better closing argument
Is something she could use.
It's not as if Beyoncé's
Gonna tell me who to choose.

November, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

CNN's Kayleigh McEnany

Whatever happened to "must see" TV?
Lately on cable there's nothin' to see
But surrogates shilling for Clinton and Trump.
After a minute, you're ready to jump.

November, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jared Fogle holding Subway sandwich

Claim

Subway knew for quite a while
Their spokesman was a pedophile.
He wasn't shy,
This Jared guy--
He said he liked 'em juvenile.

October, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump, Mexico City, August 31, 2016

When a macho man like Donald Trump
Shows up in bobby pins,
You'd think it would be front page news,
But better think again:
Although he looked ridiculous,
The press just let it pass.
(He says they're out to get him,
But for once they saved his ass.)

October, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump standing behind Hillary Clinton at second presidential debate

On Hillary, I'll say this:
She may not be the greatest,
But 'least she won't
Be someone who
Makes everybody hate us.

October, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump at Mexico City press conference, August 31, 2016
At Mexico City press conference, August 31, 2016

We have a small suggestion
For the Donald if he wins:
Before he meets with Putin,
He should lose the bobby pins.

October, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Vin Scully and Kevin CostnerVin Scully and Kevin Costner

To: Kevin Costner
On Vin Scully Appreciation Day

It's not a f*ckin' funeral,
So lighten up, my friend!
Even Scully looks as if
He wishes this would end.

September, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Young Trump supporters

It's gotta be a sign
Our schools are in decline,
If we're too dumb
To see when someone's
Feeding us a line.

September, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump hugging American flag

We'll never see his tax returns;
He can't afford for us to learn
How little that he's really paid
On all that money that he's made.

August, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump holding baby

"A kinder, gentler Donald Trump?"
Now that I gotta see.
(How long, ya think, before he's back
To total S.O.B.?)

August, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman trying on too-small shirt

The online experience blows
When shopping for something like clothes.
But that's all we'll have here,
Cuz after the new year
Our Macy's is going to close.

August, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump playing with toy soldiers

"Why have nukes if you can't use 'em?"
Donald wants to know.
It's not just that he's ignorant;
He's proud to let it show.

August, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Low California reservoir

California

Inasmuch as there's no rain,
They oughta scrap the bullet train
And put that money somewhere smart:
Desalination, for a start.

August, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump addressing Fresno, CA rally

He came to California
And declared, "There is no drought."
How anyone could buy this sh*t's
What I can't figure out.

July, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

James Comey

That does it; the case is decided:
Ms. Clinton will not be indicted.
(For those who believe
That the system is rigged,
More proof has been kindly provided.)

July, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump

"I'm with her," the buttons say,
But will she be with us?
There's so much in her resume
That makes her hard to trust.
That said, she's facing someone
Who's so totally unworthy,
I guess I'll have to 'be with her'
And make believe it's Bernie.

July, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump receiving later-rescinded honorary degree

Trump University should be in quotes;
That isn't in fact what it was.
(You couldn't call something
"Trump Hospital," couldja,
By just putting salesmen in scrubs?)

June, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Young man and woman lloking down at smartphones

Everybody's somewhere else,
Inside their little phone...
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram;
You're always left alone.

June, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Gorilla Harambe and boy

#JusticeForHarambe

You're s'posed to be judged by a jury, but wow...
Trial by hashtag is what we have now:
Millions of people expressing their view
On how you f*cked up when you went to the zoo.

June, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Trump rally on MSNBC

To get the news from cable news,
You gotta watch the crawl
And mute the endless Trumpathon;
It's no damn help at all.

May, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

Superman could see through walls;
Now you can see through Trump:
This promo for his phony school's
Just like him on the stump.

May, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Sadiq KhanDonald Trump and Sadiq Khan

The new Muslim mayor of London
Has got him a little conundrum:
If he wants to fly
To the states by and by,
Will he need permission from Dum Dum?

May, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

Donald Trump is f*cking nuts;
What else should we consider?
Jesus, you could see this putz
Start World War III on Twitter.

May, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump

What this election's not about
Is Mrs. Clinton's marriage.
(It's odd, a guy who's on his third
Finds so much to disparage.)

May, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

California aqueduct

April showers bring May flowers,
So we used to say...
But that's not how the system works
In places like L.A.,
Where rains are insufficient
To grow anything for sure,
So mostly we're dependent
On the water we "procure."

May, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man in suit walking the plank

Face it, Mr. Sales Pro:
They're always gonna rank ya.
And when it's time to letcha go,
They're never gonna thank ya.

May, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

9/11 Attack on World Trade Center

War on Terror

Think of all the countries
That we've bombed to get these scum:
Everywhere on earth
But where they actually were from.

April, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump and Ted Cruz

Attn: Ted Cruz

"Donald Trump's a liberal"?
Hey, let me set you straight:
A liberal would not campaign
On bigotry and hate.
I know that it's your job
To throw him underneath the bus,
But take it from a liberal:
He isn't one of us.

April, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Tamir Rice

'9-1-1, he's got a gun,
But could be just a kid...
And that could be a toy he's got.'
A lotta good that did.

April, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ted Cruz

Whenever politicians say
We gotta close the EPA,
That really means
Behind the scenes
They're taking big polluter pay.

April, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

The GOP won't break apart if
Trump's the nominee.
They'll act like he's the one they wanted;
Just you wait and see.

April, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hillary Clinton

Another sign the Clinton folks
Are under some duress:
They took a static noise machine
And aimed it at the press,
So no one could determine
What she told the donors there.
(If it was on the up and up,
You wouldn't think they'd care.)

April, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man lighting cigar with hundred dollar bill

You think these corporate media dicks
Want money out of politics?
They're making scads
Off all those ads.
It's not a system they would fix.

April, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top


Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton

Sour Grapes

He brings the independents in
As Hillary does not.
But that is not rewarded in
The system that we've got:
You have to be a Democrat
To vote for him most places.
If primaries were open,
He'd be winning all those races.

April, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sanders Wins Wyoming Democratic Caucus

It's kinda weird: he wins again,
But Clinton gets more delegates.
It isn't on the up and up,
The way we pick our presidents.

April, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"No boats" sign on parched lakebed

If nature is something to tame,
We're not very good at the game...
Or else we'd be outta
This miserable drought,
Cuz we'd know how to make us some rain.

April, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton

Why Bernie

Our appetite for change is great:
Remember, in 2008
We voted for
An end to war,
Not eight more years of stalemate.

March, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Terrorist

Homeland Insecurity

ISIS really worries me;
Al Qaeda does as well...
And Al-Shabab, and Shish Kabob,
And all those hounds of hell.
But on a daily basis,
The one who scares me more
Is the camo-clad American
With all his guns next door.

March, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump showing his hands at debate

Tortured Trump

The way he needs to tell us that his penis isn't small,
And everyone's in love with him from NY to Nepal,
You start to see a pattern that's unsettling for sure:
We really want a president this f*cking insecure?!

March, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump hugging flag

Get this asshole off the stage!
I'm tired of his act:
His haughty air, his stupid hair,
Most everything, in fact.
I've had it with the media
Not challenging his lies,
And snubbing Bernie Sanders,
Who could cut him down to size.

March, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Cops

Blue Wall of Silence

Good cop, bad cop--which is which?
It's hard to tell, if none'll snitch
When one of theirs commits a crime,
But mum's the word most every time.

March, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top


Donald Trump and Mitt RomneyDonald Trump and Mitt Romney

'Trump's bankrupted companies,
Screwed over workers,
And hidden what taxes he's paid.'
(That all may be true,
Mr. Romney, but you
Did those very same things, I'm afraid.)

March, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Confused man at store

Decaffeinated coffee,
Non-alcoholic beer...
I don't know what they're good for;
So tell me why they're here?

March, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Marco Rubio pointing at Donald Trump

See the most recent Republican brawl?
Somebody's grown him a new set 'a balls!
Best frickin' takedown of Donald to date.
Question now, is it too little, too late?

February, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Lady biting her nails

Trump's the next president; how do I know?
Looks like the Democrats aren't gonna show.
Maybe it's burnout,
But this kinda turnout
Is not gonna get 'em where they need to go.

February, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump

I like to write poems that are based on the news,
But lately the challenge is staying enthused
When most of the news is so awful to see,
You just wanna hide and turn off the TV.

February, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Gas leak protest at Porter Ranch CA

Aliso Canyon Storage Facility

After all the gas it's spewed,
Shouldn't they just shut it down?
Everybody knows they should;
Everyone but Jerry Brown.

February, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Starving sea lion pup

Saving "the planet" is such a misnomer;
The planet will still be around.
It's we who are on it that's gonna be goners,
If we don't keep temperatures down.

February, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ted Nugent

Nugent's only trending
Cuz 'a something dumb he said.
(Not to disappoint you
If you thought that he was dead.)

February, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Zika fumigation

Pregnant? I'd skip the Olympics in Rio,
Where sewers are open and breeding mosquitoes
With some of the nastiest viruses yet.
Zika is one that you don't wanna get.

February, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Steve King and Ted Cruz

Cruz Takes Iowa Caucus

They only won by subterfuge:
They told the Carson folks,
'Your candidate has left the race,
So give us all your votes.'

February, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

I got to admit, I'm a little confused
By something that's commonly said:
"He sucks all the oxygen out of the room."
Then why isn't everyone dead?

February, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hillary Clinton at rally

She's shouting--my God, is she shrill!
As a speaker, she's nothin' like Bill.
She's more like a dentist
Who's inside your head
With a big ass electrical drill.

February, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Rick Snyder

Heckuva Job, Ricky

Just to save a measly buck,
He switched our source of water.
So now it's lead we're drinking up.
Arrest his ass? They oughta.

January, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bird looking up

I thought that our fortunes were set:
The winter was s'posed to be wet.
They promised El Nino;
Reality is, though,
We haven't seen anything yet.

January, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bored Hillary Clinton fans

Is Hillary Clinton, like, yesterday's news?
Millenial women seem less than enthused...
"First woman president"
Just isn't gettin' it.
They're gonna need more than gender to choose.

January, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump mocking a disabled reporter

A consummate asshole in ev-er-y way:
So what does our surging support for him say,
That we'd even think of electing his kind?
"Surrounded by assholes" is what comes to mind.

January, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

"Wages are too high," he says.
"Our country can't compete."
If folks see where he's going there,
He won't be hard to beat.

January, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top


Hillary Clinton

A no-fly zone in Syria--
Like, what is she, insane?
Let's ratchet up this clusterf*ck
And down a Russian plane.

January, 2016
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sam Brownback and Chris Christie
Govs. Sam Brownback (R-KS) and Chris Christie
(R-NJ)

Kansas and New Jersey
Had some decent credit once,
Until they both decided
To elect a f*cking dunce
Who cut the corporate taxes
Till there's nothin' comin' in.
(Those "fiscally responsible
Conservatives" again.)

December, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bush supporter with Jeb! sign

With thirty million bucks in ads,
You'd think he'd make a dent.
But Mr. Exclamation Mark
Is still at three percent.

December, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Nashfeen Malik, left, and Syed FarookNashfeen Malik, left, and Syed Farook

Proof that our gun laws are rotten:
Their guns were all legally gotten.

December, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Israeli soldier and Palestinian child

Line up with Israel! Don't be a critic,
Or someone will say that you're anti-Semitic.
(Don't think that that couldn't happen to you;
That's even happened to many a Jew.)

December, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Police advancing in riot gear

There's something faintly creepy with
That word they're using currently:
"Homeland" this and "homeland" that.
It sounds like Nazi Germany.

November, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ben Carson

I punched my mom and stabbed my friend
But now that I've been saved,
I'd like to be your president.
I'm very well behaved.

November, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Vote!

Voter turnout is the key
To ending this plutocracy.
It's we who've let
The one percent
Run off with our democracy.

November, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ben Carson and Donald Trump

Don't count on corporate media
To filter out the liars.
Just look at all the time they give
To climate change deniers.

November, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bernie Sanders

What's in a name? For a "socialist," plenty:
A survey suggests ya got little if any
Chance at the White House
If that's how you're known.
(Might be a label you'd wanna disown.)

November, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joe Biden

Anyone who takes this long
Deciding if he'll run
Is not the guy you're lookin' for,
When all is said and done.

October, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Exxon sign

What did they know,
And when did they know it?
They knew we were warming;
Their documents show it.
But thirty years later,
They're still playing dumb,
And funding deniers,
Like absolute scum.

October, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Keith Olbermann

M S N B C
Ain't what it used to be.
But what the heck
Could we expect?
It's corporate TV.

October, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Young woman covering ears

It's so damn annoying, that thing that you do:
Asking me "Right?" every second or two...
Tying me down like I'm buyin' a car
(Seventeen times that you've done it so far).

October, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Syrian refugees in line for water

Even if there were no Isis,
There'd be a refugee crisis.
Try hangin' out
Where there's nothin' but drought.
A place where there's water is priceless.

October, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

Must they cover Donald Trump
Every time he takes a dump?
Didn't all his
Birther sh*t
Disqualify him from the jump?

September, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man yelling at his smartphone

"Uber needs access" to all of my sh*t:
My photos, my contacts, the whole f*cking bit.
I wanted a ride where I'd save on the tab,
But f*ck this malarkey--I'm callin' a cab.

September, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hillary Clinton
From: H <hrod17@clintonemail.com>

Was anyone watching the store?
You'd think it'd be hard to ignore
That emails from "H"
Weren't coming from State;
She sent 20,000 or more.

September, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Painting of Jesus blessing soldier
The "Prince of Peace" is what he's called.
(Ironic, that, considering all
The bloody wars that men have fought
With Him on board, or so they thought.)

September, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bernie Sanders supporter

I've made my choice for president
And nothing can deter me.
The others are irrelevant;
I'm in the tank for Bernie.

September, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Pres. Obama viewing glacier in Alaska

You see what's at stake in Alaska,
With everything heating up faster.
So why aren't you willing
To see that by drilling
The Arctic, you're courting disaster?

September, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Donald Trump

Stump the Trump

My favorite book's the Bible,
But as far as favorite verse?
I wish I woulda thought 'a that
And gotten one rehearsed.

September, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Charlton Heston hoisting rifle before 2000 NRA convention
Quit the NRA!

Men of conscience should decline
To send this group another dime.
It's getting old,
How it opposes
Any gun law, any time.

August, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Despondent man working on laptop

They hype us on working from home,
As if we'll like being alone,
And won't go berserk
Having no one to work with
Except via email or phone.

July, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

James Inhofe
Climate change denier Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK)

If "family values" is their thing,
Then how can all these dingalings
Be leaving to their precious kids
A planet as messed up as this?

June, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Grand old party

You wanna shrink the government,
But who would really win?
If you believe
It's you or me,
You'd better think again.

June, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Marco Rubio and Jeb BushMarco Rubio and Jeb Bush

Justifying the War

"The world's a better place
Without Saddam," or so they say.
(A million dead Iraqis
Might not see it quite that way.)

May, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Amtrak derailment in Philadelphia
The bodies were still being recovered when House Republicans cut Amtrak's budget by $260 million
and rejected funding for speed control technology
that would have helped prevent a horrific train
crash in Philadelphia the night before

What happened was wholly preventable.
That's why it's so damn indefensible
That Congress would cut
Amtrak's budget so much
One day after. It's incomprehensible.

May, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Osama Bin Laden
The killing of Osama Bin Laden didn't go as the
White House said, according to Seymour Hersh

We may have been misled
By the "hooey" we were fed,
But what isn't in
Dispute is that
The S.O.B. is dead.

May, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Deflategate headline

Whatever the scandal of late,
It always ends up as a "-gate."
I wish they would snuff
The Nixonian suffix;
It doesn't belong on "deflate."

May, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Pamela Geller
Four months after 12 were killed at a Paris maga-
zine over publishing cartoons of Mohammed,
provocateuse Pamela Geller offered $10,000
for the 'best Mohammed cartoon' at a TX event,
and got the copycat attack she was looking for

To bait Islamic terrorists
With cartoons of Mohammed
Is so damn irresponsible,
It makes you wanna vomit.

May, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Fox and Friends' Steve Doocy, Elizabeth Hasselbeck and Brian Kilmeade

When Obama got elected,
There were pundits who suggested
We were over race; remember that?
Sadly, they were fulla crap.

May, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Obama poster 2008
Pres. Obama says critics of the Trans-Pacific Partnership should judge the trade deal on the
facts, but those facts have been kept secret

I feel like such a fool!
He's just a corporate tool.
He wouldn't be
For TPP
If he was really cool.

April, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Hillary Clinton

Great Expectations

She voted for a war
That was our country's darkest hour.
What other dumb decisions
Will she make if she's in power?

April, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Indiana protest

Our money's good as anyone's.
That's why in Indiana,
When people tried to f*ck with us,
Big business went bananas.

April, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mike Pence
Gov. Mike Pence (R-IN) signed a law protecting businesses from civil rights lawsuits filed by peo-
ple they refuse to serve on the basis of "religion"

"Religious Freedom Restoration's"
Written, for your information,
So these clowns
Can get around
Our laws against discrimination.

April, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bernie Sanders
Progressive Democrats want Sen. Bernie Sanders
(I-VT) to seek their party's presidential nomination

A candidate who we can trust
To actually be there for us...
'Fwe weren't asleep,
This guy would leave
Both Bush and Clinton in the dust.

March, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ted Cruz and daughter Caroline
Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, with daughter Caroline, is the
first Republican to enter the 2016 presidential race

A guy who thinks so crazily
And gives a speech so nasally
And looks so odd
Won't win it, but
He thinks he can, amazingly.

March, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Low lake

The first day of spring should delight us,
But sadly it also reminds us:
We're headed from here
For another dry year,
Cuz the best chance of rain is behind us.

March, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Barack Obama
When a US-backed coup fails, try sanctions

Sanctionista

"Extraordinary threat," he says,
"To national security."
So what exactly is the threat?
It's sounding like manure to me:
Is Venezuela gonna blow us
All to smithereens?
Or is this how we destabilize
A socialist regime?

March, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Bill O'Reilly
No slave to truth, Bill O'Reilly

"The O'Reilly Factor" on Fox News

Whatever else it is, a "no spin zone" it's not.
It's funny they would call it that, considering it's got
An anchor spinning yarns about his acts of derring-do
That actual reporters have determined aren't true.

March, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Peter King
"There are terrorist attacks all over the world
& we're talking about closing down Homeland
Security," tweeted Rep. Peter King (R-NY).
"This is like living in a world of crazy people."

"Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican"

Republicans seem to've abandoned
Their famous Eleventh Commandment.
It's too hard to keep
When there's so many creeps
In the party, they can't even stand it.

March, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Nervous mother

Mom, don't even hesitate:
Grab your kid and vaccinate
His ass right now,
Before he's down
With measles (wouldn't that be great).

February, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Brian Williams

Why did Brian take to lyin'
When he had it all?
And think he'd get away with it?
That takes a lotta gall.

February, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jeb Bush
Jeb Bush was expected to raise $10+ million from
Wall St. donors at a $100,000 per plate dinner at
billionaire Henry Kravis' Park Avenue residence

You wanna have Jeb Bush's ear
And get to shake his hand?
Then sign up for his dinner here--
It's just a hundred grand.

February, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Alberta 2013 oil pipeline spill

If pipelines were impervious
And never ever leaked,
Then Keystone wouldn't worry us,
But as it is, we're freaked.

February, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Saddam statue toppled 2003

'We broke it; we own it.' That's not just Iraq,
But the whole Middle East, as a matter of fact.
Nothing we've done there has been a success
Since W. snookered us into this mess.

January, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Child drone victim

For a country that's so damn religious,
You'd think we'd be asking forgiveness
For all of the blows
We've inflicted on those
Who were minding their own f*cking business.

January, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

TV reporter in Times Square

I can't think of anything better
Than sitting here dreading the weather.
The TV won't quit
With this megastorm sh*t.
Sit down and we'll stress out together!

January, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sonia Sotomayor
Dissenting from the Supreme Court's decision
upholding Michigan's affirmative action ban,
Justice Sonia Sotomayor said Chief Justice John
Roberts was "out of touch with reality" on race

Wish there were more like Sotomayor.
She is the justice whom I most adore:
Look how she's able
To take on an a-hole
Like Chief Justice Roberts and give him what for.

January, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Joe Friday

I'll hear your confession there, Father:
So how many kids did you bother
And tell not to tell
Or they'd all go to Hell?
Was handy, huh, having that collar?

January, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

I35 bridge collapse
Years after the deadly failure of a Minneapolis bridge
during rush hour, the American Society of Civil En-
gineers still gives U.S. infrastructure a grade of D+

While interest rates are low,
We oughta find the dough
And fix what all needs fixin',
Not just wait for it to go.

January, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

NYC police turning backs on Mayor DeBlasio
NYC police turned their backs on a live video feed
of Mayor de Blasio eulogizing one of their own

A clarification before we go
And put all the blame on de Blasio:
Did he shoot those cops?
No, he did not.
Did he choke that guy in the video?

January, 2015
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Actor playing Kim Jong Un in The Interview
Kim Jong Un character in Sony's "The Interview"

At Least Change His Name?!

"Comedy" or not,
A movie where the plot's
Assassinate
A head of state
Should never have been shot.

December, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

William Montemarino and Lamard Joye

No wonder "stop and frisk"
Has everybody pissed:
They take the cash
Right off your ass
As if it won't be missed.

December, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Eric Garner RIP
"I can't breathe"

The way that Eric Garner died
Was quickly ruled a homicide,
But bring the perp
To justice? Nope,
The prosecutor never tried.

December, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Tom Coburn
Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK), known for blocking
bills through "holds," used his last days in the
Senate to block a $22 million veteran suicide
prevention bill with broad bipartisan support

Good-bye to Dr. No.
We're glad to see him go!
He got his kicks
From bein' a dick
And holding up the show.

December, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

University of Virginia rape protest
Since 1998, 183 University of Virginia students
have been expelled for honor-code violations such
as cheating on exams, but not one for sexual as-
sault, despite multiple reported cases

An honor system gone awry:
You cannot steal, cheat or lie
And get to stay
At UVA,
But rape, they'll letcha slither by.

December, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Don Lemon and Joan TarshisDon Lemon and Joan Tarshis
CNN's Don Lemon apologized for his bizarre
questioning of one of Bill Cosby's rape accusers

'When Cosby made ya give him head,
Why dintcha bite his dick instead?'
'I wasn't sure how that would go.
You try it, Don, and let me know.'

December, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"Freedom from Want" by Norman Rockwell

The thing that I'm most grateful for
On this Thanksgiving Day
Is being free of any urge
To jump into the fray
And battle all the shoppers
Who are gathered at the mall
To get a deal on something
That's forgotten by next Fall.

November, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Chris Christie

Suddenly everyone's giving me grief
For sitting on millions in Sandy relief,
But 800 mill is a lot to let go.
Screw everybody; I'm taking it slow.

November, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Homer Simpson

Too bad they don't give Mulligans...
By voting in Republicans,
Now ninety-nine percent of us
Have no one representing us.

November, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Mitch McConnell

It can't get weirder, can it?
You flat could not invent it:
They block our will
Completely, still
We give 'em back the Senate.

November, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

John Roberts

"Legislating from the bench"
Is something he was dead against.
But look how soon
He changed his tune,
Once he got himself entrenched.

November, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jaylen Friberg
A spurned WA teenager shot five, then himself

Who gives a sh*t what his motive was?
Isn't the point that the little skuzz
Would never have done it
If he'd 'a been gunless?
The gun made the difference; it always does.

November, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Masked New Yorkers at subway

Ebola patient coming through!
I'd give him room if I were you.
(He's blocks away,
But who's to say?
You never know what germs can do.)

October, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

"Loud Fridays" club poster

All the fun people are gonna be deaf!
Nightclubs are beating our eardrums to death.
Why can't they keep it to reasonable noise?
No getting back what a deejay destroys.

October, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Larry King

We beat the Giants three weeks back
And won the NL West, in fact.
But nowadays that don't mean squat:
Look who's in, and look who's not.

October, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Girl covering ears
How to stop saying the word "like"

When every other word is "like,"
It's hard to even listen.
We sound like we're lobotomized
And half our brains are missin'.

October, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Angry Republican elephant cartoon

Republican Strategy Session

Voting early isn't right;
The folks who do it aren't white.
It's something that we gotta stop,
Or how we gonna stay on top?

October, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Polar bear clinging to melting ice

The time for denying it's past:
The planet is heating up fast.
There's much to be done,
But priority one
Is to pull our head out of our ass.

October, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Eric Holder
Moving on...to Wall Street?
Retiring U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder

Good-bye to Eric Holder.
His record has been mixed...
He fought the fight for civil rights
All right, but then there's this:
He coddled all the banksters,
And let 'em pay a fine;
They crashed the world economy
And no one's doin' time.

October, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sean Groubert
A South Carolina trooper was arrested for shooting
an unarmed motorist who was complying with his
order to get his driver's license after being stopped
for not wearing a seatbelt

The thing we gotta stop
Is trigger happy cops
Who act like we're all terrorists
And they're in Special Ops.

September, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Monopoly man surrounded by cash
Follow the money: Few in Washington have raised
concerns about the proposed merger of Comcast
& Time Warner Cable, though the combined entity
would control 19 of the top 20 U.S. markets, with
a 30% market share in cable & 40% in broadband

We've long had laws on antitrust
And everyone endorses them,
But spread around sufficient bucks
And nobody enforces them.

September, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ferguson MO protester

Until they see a certain cop
Convicted by a jury,
Don't look for all the sh*t to stop
In Ferguson, Missouri.

September, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Iraqi tribesmen

Back to Iraq

You don't buy these tribesmen; you rent 'em at best.
Remember when Dubya was pounding his chest,
Proclaiming the surge was what won us the peace?
What won it was cash, and they'd like some more, please.

September, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Greg Hardy

NFL Domestic Violence

This comes as such a big surprise;
They all seem like such decent guys.

September, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sun over parched land

Go East, Young Man

Sunny days are lots of fun,
But when there's nothing but the sun,
You can't sustain
A fricking thing.
Without some rain, the West is done.

September, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Godane
The Heritage Institute called it highly unlikely that
Al Shabab would remain intact as a cohesive terror-
ist group after the U.S. killed its leader in Somalia

We just killed the leader of some f*cking group.
So that oughta fix 'em; they'll never recoup.
He won't be a martyr whose praises they'll sing;
More likely than not, they'll forget the whole thing.

September, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

ISIS fighter
Islamic State militants added an American journalist
to their hundreds of beheadings across Iraq & Syria

ISIS

You're talking some real depravity:
These guys are so bad that they had to be
Expelled from Al Qaeda,
No less, cuz their fighters
Were using "excessive brutality."

August, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

World War I poster

"The War to End All Wars"
Began a hundred years ago,
And even though we won it,
There's an asterisk, you know:
It didn't end all wars;
In fact, it wasn't even close.
There's more of 'em than ever now,
And we're involved in most.

August, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Lake Mead and Hoover Dam
Bathtub ring: Water and hydroelectric deliveries are threatened as Lake Mead on the Colorado River has fallen to its lowest level since the Hoover Dam was completed and the reservoir filled in the 1930’s

Forget what you've seen in the past;
This drought's in a singular class--
The kind that could augur
A gallon of water
At more than a gallon of gas.

August, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

John Boehner

We know that there's no precedent
For us to sue the president,
And it won't fly,
But that's all right...
The base will find it resonant.

August, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Rick Perry
Despite having the highest uninsured rate in the
country, Texas Gov. Rick Perry, like most GOP
governors, has refused to expand Medicaid in his
state, though the federal government would pay
100% of the cost now and 90% after three years

Isn't it inspiring
To see how they're conspiring
To uninsure
The millions who're
Barely, like, surviving?

July, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Pres. Obama eating ice cream

A Jewish deli in L.A.
Is where the prez had lunch today.
The talk was small;
No talk at all
Of genocide in Gaza, say.

July, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Ticket agent
Four months after a Malaysia Air jet vanished over
the Indian Ocean, one was shot down over Ukraine

If you're the type who takes a dare,
Then come and fly Malaysia Air.
The kind of year
We're having here,
Your ass could wind up anywhere.

July, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Murrieta, CA protesters
Protesters blocked buses taking Central American detainees--mostly women and children--to a Border Patrol processing center in Southern California

What would Jesus do
If those kids were comin' through?
Out in Murrieta,
California,
They don't have a clue.

July, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Capitol dome through shattered glass

If it doesn't get your goat
They're making it a bitch to vote
And easier to buy a gun,
Then you must be Republican.

July, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Pres. Obama in Cushing OK
His "all of the above" energy strategy leaves little
chance that Barack Obama's presidency will be
remembered as "the moment when the rise of the
oceans began to slow and the planet began to heal,"
a vision he tantalized supporters with in 2008

Until we say no to Big Oil,
They'll only continue to foil
Our efforts to manage
A liveable planet
(That isn't theirs, dammit, to spoil).

July, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man texting while driving

If your phone were really smart,
When you got in your car,
It'd hop into the trunk
And stay away from where you are.
That ain't gonna happen, though,
So here's a tip for real:
Turn the f*cker off
Before you get behind the wheel.

July, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Boston Marathon bombers Dzhokar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev
What if the Boston Marathon bombers hadn't been -identified through surveillance videotape? The U.S.
has had the technology to trace explosives for dec-
ades, but it goes unused due to NRA opposition

A right to bear arms or a right to bear bombs?
It's hard to make sense of the NRA's qualms
'Bout tagging explosives so they can be traced,
But they're still opposing it. What a disgrace.

July, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sean Banks
A former Navy officer was found guilty of
raping two women he met through the internet
dating sites ChristianMingle and Match.com

Sacrosanct and single?
Go on ChristianMingle.
(Just pray it's not
A psychopath
Who's making your heart tingle.)

June, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jeff Bezos holding new Amazon Fire phone
CEO Jeff Bezos shows off Amazon's new smart-
phone, which can recognize images, products, text
and audio, and connect users to buy those items

Amazon's got a new smartphone named Fire.
Its primary object's to make you a buyer
Of every last product and service they've got,
Till every last buck in your wallet is shot.

June, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jared and Amanda Miller
Two years after Indiana passed an NRA-backed
law allowing citizens to shoot public servants
who 'overstep their authority,' an Indiana couple
assassinated two policemen eating lunch in Las
Vegas and proclaimed the revolution had begun

NRA members, please tear up your cards:
Don't give one more dime for this f*cking canard
That only more guns can protect us from harm.
There's too many nutbags you're helping to arm.

June, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Veteran in wheelchair saluting flag
A Veterans Administration investigation found sys-
temic problems, with records being manipulated nationwide to mask long waits for appointments

We send 'em to Afghanistan
And then on to Iraq.
And just to show we're grateful,
When they finally get back,
We make 'em wait forever
When they need to see a doc.
We thank 'em for their service
But it's sounding like a crock.

June, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Elliot Rodger
A CA killer spurred new calls for tougher gun laws

The "lonely young virgin" was resolute:
He'd find him some women to execute,
Cuz he couldn't get none.
But that begs the question:
Why didn't he just call a prostitute?

May, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Barack Obama and Bill Clinton
"Free" trade deals have cost American jobs, and the
Trans-Pacific Partnership may be the worst one yet

What a stinking pile of sh*t's
This Trans-Pacific Partnership.
You'd think that they'd
Be off free trade,
With all the damage NAFTA did.

May, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man wearing Google Glass eyewear
Google's new computerized eyewear may have
more than the $1,500 price tag to overcome

Don't Be Evil

If someone wearing Google Glass
Should follow you around,
Remove 'em from their head
Before you stomp 'em in the ground.

May, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Egyptian protester waving shoe
Egyptians, shown protesting Pres. Mubarek's refu-
sal to step down in 2011, look ready to put another
former military commander in charge: Abdel Fattah
al-Sisi, who recently vowed that the Muslim Broth-
erhood would "cease to exist" if he were elected

Egypt in a Nutshell

Once they got democracy,
They voted for theocracy.
When that went bad,
They went right back
To what they'd had: autocracy.

May, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Egyptian woman protesting mass death verdict
The U.S. resumed military aid to Egypt, even as 683
were sentenced to death for killing a police officer,
& the democratically-elected ex-president continued
to be held on charges that carry the death penalty

Egypt

With all of the people they've sentenced to die,
I can't for the life of me understand why
Obama would give 'em more milit'ry aid,
Their evil intentions so clearly displayed.

May, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Clayton Lockett
It took nearly an hour for convicted murderer
Clayton Lockett to die in a grisly Oklahoma ex-
ecution that officials finally hid from observers

A botched execution? Well, f*ckin' boo hoo.
I hear that his victim's was pretty botched too:
The one that he kidnapped and pumped full 'a lead,
And buried alive when she wouldn't play dead.
...I'm not disputing death penalties suck,
But don't ever ask me to cry for this f*ck.

May, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man shrugging
Faith in internet security was shaken by the discov-
ery of "heartbleed," a programming flaw that leaves
encrypted websites vulnerable to hackers

I thought that little padlock meant
A website was secure.
But that, like so much else these days,
Turned out to be manure.

April, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Eric and Charlotte Kaufman with one-year old daughter Lyra
A sick 1-year-old was rescued at sea with her family after they tried to go sailing around the world, de-
spite the infant's having just tested positive for sal-
monella and being on three antibiotics and a steroid
for bronchitis and an upper respiratory infection

Baby daughter's ailing?
Why not take her sailing!
Salmonella,
Shlamonella--
That's why they got a railing.

April, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Supreme Court Building
Equating money with "free speech," the Supreme Court's conservative majority followed its Citizens
United decision allowing corporations to spend unlimited sums on election campaigns by striking
down the total limits on individuals' contributions
in McCutcheon v. Federal Election Commission

Take nine random people and put 'em in robes:
I'll bet their decisions are better than those
That Roberts and friends have been able to make.
They can't even learn from their biggest mistake.

April, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Leland Yee
The CA State Senate suspended Leland Yee and
two other Democrats who are fighting criminal
charges. Yee, arrested in an FBI sting, is accused
of corruption and conspiracy to traffic in guns

California Democrats, corrupt as they can be:
Roderick Wright, then Calderon,
And now there's Leland Yee--
Each one with a rap sheet
That outdoes the one before.
Damn if I know who the hell to vote for anymore.

March, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Dry river
In California, up to 30 million young salmon will be trucked from inland hatcheries to waters near the
Pacific Ocean after the state's drought has left riv-
ers too dry for them to migrate on their own. Top
scientists issued a dire new climate change warning

When drought leaves our rivers too dry for the
salmon
To swim to the ocean, it's time to get jammin'
On fixin' this climate before it's too late.
Our food's out there dyin'; how long can we wait?

March, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Malaysia Flight 370 searcher with binoculars
Searchers have found no sign of Malaysia Flight 370

We don't have a whole lot of facts;
We're not even sure it was jacked.
But what we keep wonderin'
Throughout this conundrum
Is whether it could've been hacked.

March, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Anderson Cooper

Breaking News: We have no news
About the missing plane.
We only called it "breaking news"
To suck you in again.
It's just the same old theories,
The same old talking heads,
The same old damn commercials.
I'd watch something else instead.

March, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Man on cell phone at airport
Not since Amelia Earhart's plane vanished in 1937
has there been a mystery like Malaysia Flight 370

My flight gets in at 6:15
So come and get me, dear.
I'll be down by the baggage claim
(Unless we disappear).

March, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Low reservoir
Fracking is depleting water supplies in America's
driest areas, a new report shows

I'll tell ya why we oughta
Put frackers out to slaughter:
As reservoirs
Keep going down,
We can't afford the water.

March, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Barack Obama
Pres. Obama is taking heat for using executive ac-
tions to bypass a do-nothing Congress, but most
of his recent predecessors used them even more

"Executive actions are running afoul!
Obama's a tyrant!" Republicans howl.
But what's he to do
When the Congress is truly
Against him on everything? Throw in the towel?

March, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Soldiers
Nearly 20% of U.S. soldiers had a common mental illness before enlisting in the Army, a study shows

It's something we thought was immutable--
That soldiers be mentally suitable,
But two out of ten
Are a little unhinged,
And nonetheless seen as recruitable.

March, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Russian & Ukrainian Ministers of Defense with U.S. Defense Sec'y William Perry, 1996
In 1996, Defense Secretary William Perry and his Russian and Ukrainian counterparts celebrated the dismantling of a Ukrainian nuclear missile silo by planting sunflowers in its place. 5,000 USSR-
inherited nuclear weapons were transferred to Rus-
sia, after both countries signed a pact with the US
and UK guaranteeing Ukraine's territorial integrity

After you give up your nukes,
How do you put up your dukes
When sooner or later
Your nuclear neighbors
Are acting like absolute pukes?

March, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

John Kerry
Sec'y of State John Kerry, who voted for the Iraq
War Resolution in 2002, blasted Russia's incursion
in Ukraine: "You just don't invade another country
on phony pretext in order to assert your interests"

The high ground is lovely to claim,
But wasn't it roughly the same,
Invading Iraq
On our own set of facts
As the Russians have done in Ukraine?

March, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Sochi Olympics bear mascot
So long, Sochi

We caught the whole public relations campaign...
"We're not your old Russia with war on the brain."
But all the p.r.
Doesn't go very far
When the next thing you know they're invading Ukraine.

March, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Paul Tanaka
Paul Tanaka is running to replace Lee Baca as L.A. County Sheriff, though the scandals that engulfed
the department on their watch forced both to quit

Whoever replaces ex-Sheriff Lee Baca,
We'd better do better than Mr. Tanaka.
Ya need someone new,
Not the old #2,
To fix a department so frickin' facacta.

February, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Shady guy with calculator
The failure of the world's largest bitcoin exchange triggered a panic sell-off of the virtual currency

So bitcoins are worthless? That's gotta be rough
For all of the folks who were into the stuff.
But what was the virtual money's allure?
You had to be crazy to think it's secure.

February, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jordan Davis, R.I.P.
Jordan Davis, 1995-2012

The problem down there's
Every Tom, Dick and Harry
Can go get a permit and legally carry,
So people get shot for the stupidest things.
This is the crap that less gun control brings.

February, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Michael Dunn
Michael Dunn, 47, who killed an unarmed teenager whose rap music annoyed him, shows disbelief af-
ter being convicted on lesser charges. Like George
Zimmerman and the moviegoer who killed another
for texting, he has a FL concealed weapons permit

Sunshine State

Hey, turn down that music there!
Stop with those texts!

With middle-aged white guys increasingly vexed,
You'd better watch out when they make a demand...
Before you find out there's a Glock in their hand.

February, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Jamie Coots, R.I.P.
Jamie Coots, R.I.P.
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents
& scorpions, & over all the power of the enemy; &
nothing shall by any means hurt you. (Luke 10:19)

A snake-handling preacher has gone to his grave
Believing that Jesus would be there to save
His ass from a bite,
But it got him, all right.
(Know how some churches use grape juice for wine?
Maybe their snakes could be rubber next time.)

February, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

George ZimmermanGeorge Zimmerman, acquitted last year of murdering
Trayvon Martin, says he's homeless and has PTSD

Zimmerman 'suffers from PTSD.'
That's kind of how you'd expect it to be
For someone who murdered an innocent kid.
I'd sure be stressed if I'd done what he did.

February, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Snowboarder
The end of snow? Only half of the cities that have hosted the Winter Olympics may be cold enough
to host them again by 2050

Winter Olympics are fun!
But under a punishing sun,
Scientists say
That we may see the day
When the Winter Olympics are done.

February, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Chris Christie
With his office under federal investigation, NJ Gov.
Chris Christie was shunned by TX Gov. Rick Perry
and candidates in TX & IL when he travelled there
to raise funds for the Republican Governors Assn.

The more that he tries to deceive 'em,
The more that they're starting to leave him.
When Christie says he
Wasn't in on Fort Lee,
Supporters don't even believe him.

February, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Tea party
When government gets smaller, who wins?

Wanna shrink government? Some people do...
Mostly the people who haven't thought through
Who'll be the winners if that comes to be;
Dollars to donuts, it's not you and me.

February, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Worried worker
Most Americans agree with Pres. Obama that the minimum wage should be raised, but the chances
of Congress doing anything about it are next to nil

Why am I working full-time,
And still getting treated like slime?
My pay should be fair
But these people don't care
That I'm under the poverty line.

January, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top


Kardashian sisters

No matter how good all the ass has been,
You don't wanna wed a Kardashian.
They get--like poor Odom--
Some guy by the scrotum,
And soon the whole family is cashin' in.

January, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman ululating

Cultural Exchange

Watching how they can manipulate
Those little tongues when they ululate,
It goes through your head--
If you got one in bed,
You might both need a week to recuperate.

January, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

John Boehner, Eric Cantor & Mitch McConnellAmerica has the lowest voter turnout of wealthy
countries, and look what we have to show for it

When 3 out of 4 say they haven't done sh*t
To fix all our problems, that oughta be it.
But pros are predicting they'll stay in control...
Cuz most of us won't even go to the polls.

January, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Chris Christie
Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ) claims he knew nothing about his associates' closing of George Washington
Bridge lanes to tie up traffic as a political vendetta,
though emails show the plot originated in his office

"Abject stupidity?" That part is true.
But guess who selected those people: it's you!

January, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Pope Francis
Pope Francis has the makings of a radical reformer
if he focuses the same moral outrage on his own
institution that he has on 'trickle-down' economics

We've needed a pope like this Francis forever,
But didn't expect we'd be seeing him ever.
Course, now comes the part
Where he shows us his range:
A lotta great talk, or some actual change.

January, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Paul Walker, R.I.P. (inset) with wrecked Porsche Carerra GT
The 2005 Porsche Carrera GT that carried Fast
and Furious actor Paul Walker to his death was
going 100+ mph, and was built without the sta-
bility management system most Porsches have

From 0 to 60 in 4 seconds flat
Is pretty impressive, but how is it that
The people at Porsche forgot to include
A stabilize system for that little dude?

January, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman under hot sun
With less than an inch of rain in the last six
months, 2013 was L.A.'s driest year on record

In New England it hasn't stopped snowing,
But out West here, anxiety's growing
That we'll never see rain
Or a good snow again--
Not the way that this megadrought's going.

January, 2014
© Robert C. Keating

Top

The late Malcolm Mency and son
The late Malcolm Mency with Malcolm, Jr.

Eighteen years old, a new father, in fact,
Walks home one night and gets shot in the back.
Guns should be harder to buy;
Screw the lie
That the Second Amendment is under attack.
When's the last time it got shot in the back?

December, 2013
© Robert C. Keating

Top


Phil Robertson
If it looks like a redneck and quacks like a redneck,
it's probably a redneck

A redneck is what he's supposed to be.
So why is the guy from Duck Dynasty
In trouble these days
Cuz he's dumb about gays?
He knows about ducks, not diversity.

December, 2013
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Woman crying at Arapahoe High School after shooting there
A school shooting near Columbine occurred just
months after three Colorado legislators lost their
jobs for supporting stronger gun laws

Though everyone's always appalled,
Does anything ever get solved?
When folks we elected
Wrote laws to protect us,
They ended up getting recalled.

December, 2013
© Robert C. Keating

Top

Kim Jong Un
30-year old Kim Jong Un is rattling international
nerves as he purges N. Korea's senior leadership

My uncle was scum. He was worse than a dog.
And just in case anyone'